


Hearts At War.

by foreverdestielxx



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Fluffy, M/M, Sabriel - Freeform, Shipper!Gabriel, Shipper!Sam, Smutty, angsty, jealous!Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 13:36:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8145988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverdestielxx/pseuds/foreverdestielxx
Summary: Prompt: so,if writing could help you deal with the finale, may I ask a thing with extremely jealous Dean, possibly thinking Sam and Cas are together (accidentally or set up by shipper Sam), crack or angst, any rating, with a happy ending of course.





	1. Hearts At War.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahahaha, I was aiming for short and sweet...let's just say it didn't go that way, so I've split this up into 4 wonderful chapters for y'all! c:
> 
> Enjoy, my butterflies.^-^

**————     ⚓    ————**

_“Losing him was blue like I'd never known._

_Missing him was dark grey all alone. Forgetting_

_him was like trying to know somebody you never_

_met, but loving him was red” —— Hearts at War._

  
  
  


It was definitely NOT jealousy the older Winchester was feeling, it was just….oh, who the hell was he kidding? It was definitely jealousy and he knew why as well. Sam had been making the moves on his, yes his angel for weeks now, almost a month, and Dean didn’t like it one bit. At first Cas didn’t really seem to know what was going on, but surely he knew by now. So, there they set in the little library area huddled to close for Dean’s liking, talking about some stupid book. Sure, Dean figured he would wait to long and eventually Cas would give up on his sorry ass and move on. But WITH SAM? Okay, Dean never saw that one coming and it honestly hurt a little bit...okay, it hurt a lot. Sam knew how Dean felt about the angel, and aren’t they supposed to have some kind of like brother code here? What the hell? Guess not. Dean wasn’t sure when the development had happened. Actually, scratch that. Dean knew exactly when it had happened, because when it came to Cas, Dean knew everything. At least the hunter thought he did, but now setting in the war room watching Sam and Cas, Dean was having seconds thoughts on it. It happened about three weeks ago, right after Gabriel had returned. Yes, that Gabriel. Apparently the poor bastard didn’t die, just badly wounded and had been trying to build up his strength. With Chuck, God, back in heaven Gabriel managed to gain enough strength to return to heaven.

 

Except, just like Cas, Gabe didn’t want to. That was how the archangel now ended up living with the hunters and the angel in the bunker. Dean didn’t mind, if he was being honest to himself. He liked having more people under the bunker, made it feel more homie. What Dean didn’t like was his brother making the moves on his angel, especially when he had an archangel for the taking. Seriously.  He could have his own angel, yet he just HAD to have Cas? Back to the point. Dean was pretty sure it all started about three weeks ago. When Gabe showed up. Sam had once more had a heated argument with Dean about being an idiot and ‘stop pushing Cas away’ thing. That’s how Dean knew Sam knew how Dean felt, feels, about the blue eyed angel. The older hunter never thought he’d get such betrayal from Sam, his own brother. Honestly, can’t trust nobody these days. Not even his brother, damn. Okay, maybe Dean was playing it up more than it was, being a little dramatic. Except, no he wasn’t. He felt like his brother stabbed him in the back and well, the love of his life just ripped his heart out and crushed it. Okay, a little chick-flick and dramatic. But whatever, that’s how it felt in that moment.

 

AT first Dean thought he was just being stupid, putting too much into it. Honorably, Dean thought he could trust Sam. HE WAS HIS BROTHER AFTER ALL. But obviously not. It started out with just small little things that Dean didn’t really mind, or tried not to anyways. Sam had taken Cas out to some small stupid little bee farm to collect some natural honey. Why? Dean had no idea. Probably because Cas just liked bees. Okay, maybe it was more because honey was something Cas could actually eat and it not taste like molecules. Which is why he used it on almost everything he tried, it helped the food not taste like molecules. According to Cas, natural honey fresh from the farm with no preservatives or anything in it tasted the best. See? Dean listened, really listened when Cas talked. In fact, as chick-flicky as it was Dean had planned on taking Cas out to the farm. But Sam beat him to the punch. Asshole.  But then it went from small things like going to the grocery store together, or small milk runs together or hell even jogging. YES, Sam had gotten Cas into jogging. What the hell?! Then came the moment that shifted all of this into focus for Dean, that he was losing Cas and he couldn’t do a damn thing about except watch it happen.

 

Apparently Lawrence had put in this new drive-in movie theater — Sam loving drive-ins wanted to go. Instead of asking Dean, he went and actually asked Cas! CAS! The angel didn’t really understand, but of course, he agreed to go along. So the two of them went off to the stupid movie together. And that brings us full circle, back to where we currently are now. Apparently the two had stopped by some old antique book store and picked up some books. The two had gotten back a few days ago and ever sense then they have been huddled up in the library going over them. And here Dean sat, his jaw set in a firm line, milking his eighth beer — at least he thought it was his eighth. He honestly lost count when Cas reached out and patted Sam shoulder while they laughed about something. The jealousy just seemed to keep bubbling up and growing with each movement, which probably wasn’t good with the amount of alcohol he had consumed. But, almost a month of dealing with this? Dean was entitled to it, at least a little bit.

 

The hunter needed a hunt, or at least something to punch. Preferably a monster, but at this point the wall was looking pretty nice as well. At least Cas would show him some attention and heal him. Maybe? He would right? He hadn’t completely forgotten about the other hunter had he? Dean found a deep frown come to his lips at the thought. Cas couldn’t just move on like that could he? Cas wouldn’t just forget about Dean? Yet, it kind of already felt like he had. Cas wasn’t just hanging around Sam more, he also wasn’t being...Cas. At least not the one Dean loves, the one he currently missed more than he’s ever missed anything. Sure he bitched about the personal space thing, but honestly it was because he loved it more then he should and plus having Cas that closed clouded his thoughts, his judgements. Yet, he missed it. Honestly? He just missed Cas. But he couldn’t just come out and say ‘hey I miss you, come back.’. No, he was still Dean Winchester and it just sounded too needy. Dean felt his eyes roll at the thought as he took another swig of beer, setting it down a little more forcefully than needed. But the two love-birds in the other room didn’t seem to notice, once more bringing out Dean’s death glare and set jawline.

 

“Man, if looks could kill...pretty sure both of them would burst into flames.” A low whistle rang out, next came the words. Gabe made it quiet enough that only Dean could hear it and not the two love birds. Dean leaned back in his chair, his eyes fixed on the other two, as he propped his legs up on the table and folded his arms a crossed his chest. “Shut up. You ain’t enjoying it anymore than I am.” Dean spoke in a low whisper, almost growl — his jealousy and anger seeping out into the words. A short snort escaped the short mans lips before he set three pizza boxes down and another six pack of beer. “You get any more jealous and your ass is going to turn green. Actually..—” Gabe spoke as he poked a finger at Dean’s forehead causing the chair to lean back a little more as Gabriel leaned in closer to the hunter. Dean’s eyes going wide as he looked back at the archangel. “What the hell, dude?” Dean spoke, swatting the archangels hand away before setting up. His feet falling to the ground, he spun around letting his death glare out on Gabriel. “Yup, just as I thought. Your eyes are  more green than normal. All that jealousy.” Gabriel spoke, a grin on his lips at the look he gathered from the hunter. Damnit, he was NOT jealous.

 

“What’s going on?” Cas voice spread over Dean but instead of relaxing him like it used to it set him on edge. Gabe raised an eyebrow, as if he had picked up on it. Dean tensed before he stood up, well, at least they had gotten the love-birds attention. Yup. There went Dean’s foul mood reaching a ten. “Pizza and beer, thanks man.” Sam spoke up as he patted Cas on the shoulder before passing him. “Actually, beers for Deano. Have a feeling he's going to be needing it more.” Gabriel spoke up, snatching the six back up before Sam could grab it. Sam and Cas both raised a question eyebrow over at Dean, concern filling Cas eyes. Well, at least he seemed to still care. Dean rolled his eyes as he fished out his baby’s keys. “Dean.” Cas started but Dean waved him off, taking a few steps back out of his reach and moving around Gabriel. He needed to get the hell out of this hell hole for a moment. He was going insane. “Dean, you shouldn’t be driving.” Cas spoke up, sounding as if he was right behind him. “Yeah well I need more alcohol and that six pack just ain’t gonna cut it.” Dean said with a shrug before climbing the stairs and making his way out of the bunker and to the neighboring bar he could find.

 

“I don’t think your plan is working, Moose.” Gabriel whistled once more before turning his attention back to Sam, who was grinning. “Oh it’s working, I mean look at him. He’s almost there.” Sam spoke, a trumpet grin on his face — as if he’d just won a gold medal. “What plan?” Cas spoke up, slightly confused as he looked between the two. Sam throwing up his innocent puppy eyes, as if he had no idea what Gabriel was talking about. Gabriel just gave up a small shrug as if he didn’t know himself either. Cas narrowed his eyes suspicious of the two, Cas knew better than to trust them. They had been up to something for almost a month now and Cas knew it, he just couldn’t exactly figure out what it was. “Twenty bucks says he comes back with at least a busted lip.” Gabriel spoke eyes lingering  over to Sam, a raised eyebrow. “Fifty says at least a busted face, possibly more.” Sam quickly matching Gabriel’s grin as the two shook on the bet before moving on to eat some of the pizza and open a beer.

 

“Shouldn’t we go after Dean? He has consumed a lot of alcohol and really shouldn’t be driving.” Cas spoke, his eyes still watching the door as if expecting Dean to come back through it, concern lacing his voice.

 

“He’ll be fine, man. Now come and eat some pizza, Cassie.” Gabriel spoke, a grin on his face at the eye roll Cas gave him at the nickname. Cas ignored them both and moved back into the library to look over the ancient books, but his thoughts unfocused at the book in hand and instead wrapped around worrying about Dean. He really shouldn’t be driving.

  


 

**☆ﾟ. * ･ ｡ﾟ ★**

  


“Stupid Angels. Stupid Archangels. Stupid Brothers. Assholes, all of them.” Dean mumbled to himself as he picked at the peanuts in front of him, downing the shot in front of him and requesting another one. He wouldn’t drink it though, he really wasn’t in the drinking mood anymore or eating mood. He was now resulted to a sulking mood. Except, he’d never actually admit it out loud and would argue with anyone who tried to say he was sulking. He just needed at least a moment to himself. Scratch that. He just needed a moment with Cas, alone. Just the two of them. Yet, he knew better than to long for that. It wouldn’t happen. The angel was too far up Sam’s ass to give a damn at the moment. But, he still had hoped maybe Cas would argue to come along or woosh in here and set down next to him. No dice, of course. “You’re thinking really hard about something, brother.” a voice spoke up beside Dean, causing the hunter to jump a little. The ending of that sentence caused Dean to quickly look up and for a moment he thought it was his old time friend, Benny. No dice there either. But judging by the accent it was someone from down south, just like Benny. So, maybe in a way it was Benny reaching out, giving him someone to talk to in some odd way. Wow. What the hell? Dean was really starting to lose his marbles now. That or he just really needed someone to talk to so much that he tried to make a stranger seem less like a stranger.

 

Too bad purgatory didn’t have phones. Dean thought to himself, or heaven. Hell, he could use a good old talk with Bobby or hell even Ellen right now. However, Dean already knew what they would say. ‘Stop being a damn princess, and sulking around. Tell the damn angel how you feel, you damn idjit.’ with a solid smack to the back of the head. Dean couldn’t help the soft grin that came to his lips as he tossed back the shot in front of him. “Something like that.” Dean finally answered back to the stranger who snorted a little bit before nodding, holding his drink out as if toasting to that and downed it. “Let me guess, girl troubles? Or fellas? I don’t judge.” The man spoke up, looking over at Dean. Something about the look in his eyes told Dean he was probably going through about the same thing, sort of. “Something like that.” Dean replied once more snorting as he took another shot that was laid in front of him. The man nodded in agreement once more and threw back another as well. “I know the feeling. Boyfriend of almost 8 years, just up and left me. You’ll never guess who for.” A sorrow filled laughter left his lips as he shook his head, as if he still couldn’t believe it himself. Dean gave a small shrug, lifting his eyebrow over at the man — waiting for the answer. “Fucking neighbor. Talk about hollywood drama. The fucking neighbor. Can you believe that shit?” The man grumbled, disbelief mixed with hurt in his voice as he shook his head.

 

“At least it was the neighbor and not your own brother,” The words left the hunter's lips before he even registered it. Fuck. He’d had way too much to drink, his brain to mouth filter wasn’t working anymore. Or maybe it was just easier to spill your guts to a stranger than to the person you want to spill them too. Dean couldn’t help but roll his eyes at that one. The man sitting next to him seemed to choke on his drink at the words, the coughing fit lasted a few seconds before he looked over at Dean. The man clearly in shock, pupils blown wide before sorrow washed over him. A small shake of the head once more before he called another round of shots for them. “Damn. Now I feel like shit for even bitching about my own. Steve, by the way.” Steve answered back, a shake of the head before tossing back another drink. Steve. Steve. God. Dean couldn’t help the annoyed snort that escaped his lips. Out of all the fucking names in the world, that one name? It had to be that one. Fuck you, Chuck. Honestly. Just fuck you. Dean thought in his head, his head falling back to look up at the sky throwing his scroll up to the big man upstairs. The hunter was sure the damn asshole was setting up stairs just laughing his ass off at this one, if he wasn’t in a bar he’d flip him off.  “Dean.” The hunter offered, shaking the man’s hand before returning to his own shot at hand.

 

“I’d offer up a ‘you wanna get outta here and have a little fun? Forget our problems’ speech, but I’m pretty sure neither of us actually need it,” Steve raised a questioning eyebrow, Dean throwing him a slight glare to answer the question. Steve simply shrugged. “So how about just a drinking partner to bitch to for a little bit? Before returning to our piece of shit lives?” Steve offered up instead. Honestly, Dean wasn’t in the mood to bitch or even spill or talk about his feelings. He hated it, he wasn’t a feelings kind of guy but hey, if the guy was offering to keep buying them shots why the hell not? Dean didn’t have to talk. He could just sit and listen to the guy, throw in an amen every now and then and throw back a free shot. Alcohol was alcohol no matter how one went about getting it. And if he got piss ass drunk and managed to forget about the thunderstorm of feelings rolling around inside him, he was fine with that as well. After all it was the true Winchester fashion of dealing with problems at hand.

 

“I’ll drink to that, buddy.” Dean shot out, raising his glass toasting to it with the other guy as they both threw back their shots. It was definitely a new way of dealing with his problems. Instead of getting piss ass drunk and burying himself between a female's leg, he was getting piss ass drunk with a man named Steve and bitching about his problems. Chuck was really having a good laugh at this one. Besides, that actually just goes to show just how upset Dean is. Or more of, what Cas really means to Dean. And just how much it hurts. He didn’t even want the company of a female, or hell the man next to him, all he wanted was Cas’ company but he couldn’t get it. So Steve it was, plus free alcohol and no expectations were expected of him. Win, Win. In addition to maybe he’d be helping Steve out, by letting the guy get off his chest whatever he needed to say. All that sharing is caring crap, or whatever. Of course, the night didn’t exactly go how Dean had saw it going. But that wasn’t anything new, when did the night ever go the way Dean thought it would? Never, was the answer to that. And this night was no exception, of course not.

 

  


**☆ﾟ. * ･ ｡ﾟ ★**

  


Oh holy hell. The drive back to the bunker the next morning was hell, the sun was high in the sky and the throbbing headache wasn’t helping much. The downside of getting piss ass drunk? The killer hangover. Except, Dean wasn’t sure if the killer headache was because he got his ass kicked last night by some huge biker dude or the alcohol. Probably a mix of both, if Dean was being honest. Lucky for him Steve had owned the place and stepped in saving his ass just in time. Okay, maybe the guy was a little late and slow because of the alcohol he had consumed himself. Dean was pretty sure at this moment he had a few cracked ribs, at least some bruised one. Also lucky for Dean, Steve let him sleep on the small couch he had in the apartment upstairs. Steve was a good guy who didn’t deserve the asshole he was in love with. Huh, oddly enough it almost fit him and Cas. A snort made it’s way out of Dean but he admittedly regretted it. Between his ribs and his head, he wasn’t ready for the lecture waiting for him when he reached the bunker. Hopefully, Sammy at least had coffee ready for him before he laid into him. Dean just hoped he could muster up enough energy to give a damn, he was still highly pissed with Sam. Okay, he wasn’t pissed at his brother just jealousy can make a man do anything.

 

Obviously, Dean got so piss ass drunk he slept at a roadhouse he didn’t know, got his ass kicked for some reason he couldn’t even remember and he bitched about his issues to a stranger. Okay, fine maybe it wasn’t jealousy that made him do all that stupid shit. It was stupid ass love that made him do it, that made him jealous. God, when did his life turn into a damn chickflick? Just because Dean secretly liked watching them didn’t mean he wanted his life to become one. Oh well. Fucking Chuck, Dean was sure the asshole was fucking with him. “Like I haven’t been through enough. Thanks, asshole,” Dean mumbled to himself, speaking too loud made the throbbing worse. Stupid Angels, Stupid Archangels, Stupid brothers, and Stupid Chuck. Except none of them was really to blame for all of this. It was really stupid ass Dean. For being stupid and mushing down feelings and denying them and pretending they don’t exist. A person can only wait so long, Dean had just hoped Cas would wait at least a little longer. Sure, Dean knew he was in love with Cas. That wasn’t anything new, he knew since the day he got back from purgatory. Okay, he knew before that. He knew the moment he first lost Cas to the fucking leviathans. But it wasn’t till purgatory, till all of it...that he finally admitted it to himself. It scared the hell out of him for like five minutes, but then it just kind of broke him because Cas was dead and well...yeah. Now though, Dean didn’t have an excuse. He was just a chickenshit who was just too insecure and believed he didn’t deserve Cas’ love.

 

But, most importantly Cas deserved better. Now Cas was getting better and Dean didn’t like it. Actually, it made Dean realize that he didn’t want anyone else having the angel. Because at the end of it all, Cas was his angel and Dean didn’t like sharing him. Not in that intimate kind of way and damnit, now he lost him. For real this time and not even to death, honestly he was sure that hurt less. At least in death Dean didn’t have to share him, didn’t have to watch him be happy with someone else, watch him love someone else. No, that hurt more. Watching the love of his life love someone else, that hurt more than death itself. All the what-ifs come rolling in, the futures that could’ve been gone, all that past, all that love, all of it just gone. Because he was a chickenshit. Dean couldn’t blame anyone else because it wasn’t their fault, it was Dean’s. Any other time Dean would be happy blaming himself, but it was just easier blaming them. At least then he could sulk and be mad at them. Except, Dean wasn’t mad at them. He was fucking jealous, highly jealous, seeing red jealous and that just made it all worse. It brought out the anger and it projected towards them, instead of himself. Fuck. His life was a chickflick and he couldn’t even give a damn because fuck, he was losing Cas.

 

Dean groaned inwardly at the bright lights of the bunker, he wasn’t sure which was worse. The ugly fluorescent lights or the sun. Honestly, both were too fucking bright for his throbbing head right now. The only blessing? Everyone seemed to be asleep, which Dean was still getting use to. Angels didn’t need to sleep, except Cas and Gabe did. Dean was pretty sure it was because they dumbed down their powers a little bit, which made their vessels require sleep. Cas anyways. Dean knew he loved sleep. It was the one thing he enjoyed most about being human. At that Dean couldn’t argue. Sleeping on a couch sucked and he missed his memory foam, so did his back. Gabe, Dean wasn’t sure why he dueled his powers down. But Dean wasn’t going to question it. They could do as they want, plus they powered back up when they went off on hunts with the brothers. So, Dean was positive it wasn’t because something was wrong. That was all that mattered, really. “Deano, you look like shit.” Gabe whistled once more and it was the most annoying sound Dean had ever heard when he rounded the corner into the kitchen. Shit. Why couldn’t they have just all been asleep? WHY! Fucking Chuck. One small break, man. Just one. “Was it a fist or the bar top? Or did things get a little too kinky?” Gabe questioned, a grin on his lips. Way to fucking cheery for this early in the morning. Dean simply threw him a middle finger before stalking the rest of the way into the kitchen, glaring at everything. From Gabe, to Sam, to Cas, to the lights. All of it.

 

“Dean. You’re hurt,” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. The deep gravely voice spread small warmth through Dean and he quickly found himself glaring at himself. Torture. “I’ve been worse. At least the ribs are just bruised this time,”Dean mumbled this time as he moved from where he stood, trying to make his exit from the kitchen. Sam quickly blocking the way. Damnit. So close. “Dude, where the hell have you been?” Sam started his line of question in a too high of voice, that just rubbed Dean wrong in his current state. “Steve,” The word slipped out before Dean could really process it, but he couldn’t muster up the energy to care. “Steve? What the fuck does Cas human name have to do with anything, Dean?” Sam questioned but before his brain could fully kick into motion Gabe beat him to it. “Damn, Deano. Hitting up the fellas, that is a new one….can’t say I’m surprised though,” Gabe grinned, the fucker actually grinned as he spoke throwing a wink Deans way. Once more Dean raised his middle finger over to Gabe before looking back at Sam.

 

“Dean, please say you didn’t…” Sam all but whispered the words, which actually threw Dean off. Jerking back a little, Dean looked up at his brother, confused as fuck. The way Sam spoke, it sounded as if he was almost afraid of the answer? Why? Sam knew how Dean was. It wasn’t uncommon for Dean to go out, get piss ass drunk, and pick up a lady or maybe a fella. So why would this time be any different? Oh, right. Cas. Except, why would Dean care? Sam and Cas clearly had the whole lovebird thing going. Falling slowly for each other. So why did Sam give a damn? Dean looked from his brother over to Cas, hurt and...betrayal? Lingered in the angels eyes. Cas was hurt and betrayed? Dean gave the angel an even more confused look before looking back to his brother, throwing his hands up in the air. He was way to hungover for this, his head was killing him, his ribs hurt, his back had a kink in it and honestly Dean needed some honest to god sleep. “Dean?” Gabe spoke this time, it was silent in the kitchen. But it was the concern in Gabe’s voice that caused Dean to pull up short and turn back to look at the three in the kitchen. Gabe was honest to god concerned, for Dean or for Cas? Dean wasn’t sure. Probably both. The way he kept looking between Dean and Cas. Sam was shocked and looked a little angry. Dean didn’t even want to know or understand that, why did Sam care? He had Cas now, like seriously. But, Cas. Dean didn’t even want to look at him, but he did. The angel head was hanging a little low, his eyes on the floor, he was folding in on himself. He looked so small, hurt, betrayed and slightly broken. God. The sight broke Dean’s heart, even though it was already broken. It just broke the pieces even more. Would Cas ever stop breaking his heart?

 

A deep sigh rumbled from Dean’s chest and out between his lips. Pinching the bridge of his nose for a long moment and he squeezed his eyes shut before opening them up. He was too hungover for this. “God. No. I didn’t sleep with Steve. Or anyone —” Dean started, pointing a finger at Gabe before he could even open his mouth. “I would never do that to C—...I wo—. No. I didn’t sleep with anyone. I went to the roadhouse a town over. Steve owns the roadhouse. Steve saved my ass from getting a complete ass kicking. Steve offered the couch in the vacant apartment upstairs to sleep off the alcohol. Steve was a great drinking buddy though. Dude could really hold his alcohol. Could put me to shame, actually.” Dean nodded his head a little bit as if going into thought at the end, thinking about how Steve almost out drank him last night. But, both were nursing a broken heart. Loads of alcohol was kind of the point. “Steve was a guy who had just lost his boyfriend to the damn neighbor, needed someone to drink with and vent too. So I sat, I drank, he vented. Somewhere between those points, I started a fight with a  biker dude. Almost got my ass kicked and then was sent to bed. Alone. Fully clothed.” Dean finished the story, looking around the room at the three men. Gabe grinned, Sam looked satisfied, and Cas looked happy but worried and concerned. Dean almost smiled back at the angel, as if to tell him he would never do that to him. Except, reality crashed down around him and he was reminded as to why he had drank so much. It was honestly just an innocent look and touch but mygod, it blew the fourth gasket. The small innocent smile, the wink, and shoulder touching. Nope. That did it.

 

“AND So what if I had? It’s not like it’s any of y’alls business. It’s not like I’m taken, got a honey on my arm. I’m a single man. I’m a grown ass man. I can do whatever the hell I want. Whom ever I want. If I want to get piss ass drunk and pleasure someone, I’m free to do so. I don’t see where it’s any of your concern, Sam. Or Cas, for that matter. Or why I should be made to feel guilty about it. I mean it’s not like either of you actually give a damn. I mean I haven’t existed for the last three, almost four, weeks now. So why don’t you two lovebirds, go for your little morning jog like always and then go do your stupid ass morning brunch date thing you do! I’m going to take my hungover, beat up, ass to bed. Rest up. Start the night all over again. I mean I’m great friends with a guy who owns a roadhouse. Free booze and ladies or fellas all around.” Dean spoke with a wink, going to leave but stopping short. It was like the damn broke and everything was ready to come out. “And what gives you the right to give me that look? Or judge me for trying to fix my broken heart?  I mean it’s my broken heart. I think I’m entitled to fix it however I want too. Plus, I mean you two are the last to judge me. After all, you two are the reason this all happened. I mean honestly, Sam. I’m not sure which is worse Ruby..or Cas...definitely Cas. More betrayal in that one. I mean fine, be with each other, be together. But you should at least have the decency to not flaunt it in front of me. After all, you know how I feel….” Everything he felt spilling over, anger, jealousy, hurt all laced around his words as he rolled his eyes one last time, his jaw set tight before making his exit from the kitchen and to his room. “Fucking low blow.” He mumbled, half way down the hall and to his room. He was going to regret that later, when he woke up and wasn’t still half drunk and nursing a massive hangover. But it was too late now, the words were out. Maybe it was for the best. God. He could only hope.

 

“Damn. I guess I owe you fifty.” Gabe spoke, after about fifteen minutes of silence stretched on. The oldest hunter had finally snapped, though it was probably due to still being half drunk and on his way to nursing a massive hangover. The archangel felt kinda bad for the dude,  though. Sam had been a little harsh on it all, maybe a little too mushy and gushy with Cas. Gabe understood, it’s why he had agreed to it. Getting Cas to go along, though Cas didn’t know he was. God. It was hell talking Cas into actually doing the stuff with Sam. Though, Gabriel also knew it was good for Cas to spend some time with everyone else and spend a little time away from Dean. But holy hell, Gabriel never thought about what it would actually do to the older hunter. Now he knew. “Gabriel.” Cas hissed at his brother, giving him a scowl as he looked at him. Gabe gave a small shrug of the shoulder as Sam accepted the money that he was handing out to him. “I can’t believe you two. It’s one thing to mess with him and tease him. But to mess with his emotions like that. You should both be ashamed of yourselves. I am and I wasn’t even a part of this scheme.” Cas spoke, his voice a low threatening whisper. It honestly sent chills down Gabriel’s spine, he was sure it did the same to Sam. Cas shook his head giving them both a scowl before making his own exit from the kitchen, most likely to take a shower and find Dean.

 

“I mean…I don’t think we went that far…” Sam mumbled to himself, looking down at the floor before looking over at Gabriel who gave him a short shrug. “Maybe just a little bit.” Gabriel patted his shoulder a little bit before stepping away heading for the door. “Wanna go grab some brunch? Give them a moment alone? Maybe they’ll finally get their shit together? If they have a day alone?” Gabriel gave a wink, Sam quickly rolled his eyes but grinned in return. “We can only hope.” Sam retorted back before disappearing out of the kitchen, to the garage to head out with Gabe for the day. “Actually, I heard the small drive-in at Lawrence is playing some horror movies...whatcha say to a little weekend vacation?” Sam spoke up once in the garage, pausing before getting in. Looking at Gabe over the hood of one of the many cars in there. Tapping his knuckles on the hood of the car, Gabe pointed a finger over at him. “Sammy, I like the way you think.” An equal grin spread on both the men faces before going back into the bunker to pack a bag before disappearing for a long weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanna send in a prompt? --> [my tumblr](http://foreverdestielxx.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Tbh, this is my first prompt and I love it! So totally feel free to send in more. c:


	2. Peaceful Hearts.

**————      ⚓     ————**

_“ Did you see the sparks filled with hope?_

_You are not alone 'cause someone's out_

_there, sending out flares. ” —— Peaceful Hearts._

  


 

**☆ﾟ. * ･ ｡ﾟ ★**

 

Dean,

 

     Gabriel and I went to Lawrence to the small drive-in.

     Heard they were playing some old horror films.

     Thought it might be nice to get away.

     Try not to beat yourself up too much, or get too drunk while we are gone.

     And go easy on Cas, he feels bad enough as it is.

    Also, don’t bother feeling guilty about the whole outburst. You’re right.

    I’m sorry for that.  But, we can talk later about it. When I get back.

 

                                                                           Sincerely,

                                                                                     S.W.

  


Dean let a short snort escape his lips at the note. Damn, sure didn’t take Sam long to get over Cas and move on to Gabrail. Except, Dean expected that to happen a long time ago. That he had seen coming, Dean always knew Sam had an extra soft spot for the archangel. He just hadn’t seen the whole him and Cas thing coming. One explosion and now Sam was backing off and moving on to Gabe. Poor Cas. No, not poor Cas. What did Dean care? He was hurting himself. Dean rolled his own eyes at that one, but regretted it immediately. Okay, maybe he was still nursing a massive hangover. But he did manage to grab some great sleep and it felt kind of refreshing. Minus the massive hangover and the guilt about him going off. Now Dean had another kind of problem, besides the hangover, guilty and getting the shit beat out of him — Cas. He was now stuck in the bunker, alone, with him. I’m starting to hate you more and more, Chuck. Hope you know that. Dean mumbled in his mind, leaning his head back and casting his eyes up at the ceiling, at the sky, at Chuck. Throwing his best glare up at God. Dean was sure Chuck knew Dean was full of shit about it and was laughing about it, but still, it felt good to glare at him. Besides maybe he really did deserve this punishment, he was a shitty person at times. Rolling his eyes, Dean stood up from his bed stretching and making his way from his room to the kitchen.

 

It was dinner time and the hunter was hungry. Okay, also because he couldn’t just hide in his room all weekend. He wasn’t a coward. Okay he was at feelings, but he wasn’t going to be a coward about this. He’d face whatever was to lie before him.

 

“Hello Dean,” The deep gravelly voice spoke from somewhere behind him, his right, Dean believed. Without turning around and looking at his, or more of the angel, Dean waved the spatula over his head. “Hey Cas,” Dean answered back finally as he returned to flipping the hamburger patties over. Almost. He had almost managed to make the three hamburgers and escape back to his room without running into the other man. _Almost_ was becoming his life anymore. **Almost** had him. Definitely lost him. **Almost** got him back. **Almost** got to love him. **Almost** had a future with him. _Almost_ seriously was the saddest word in the English dictionary, Dean was starting to find that out quickly and first hand. It sucked balls. “You’re still hurt,” Once more Cas phrased it as a statement and not a question. Dean just wasn’t sure on what level he meant it. Was he talking about the superficial wounds, his ribs or the profound wounds, the broken heart. How could one word hold so many different layers to it? Dean just nodded his head in answer, though it wasn’t really a question. He didn’t really know what to say back to it. Yup, the heart is still beating but it was differently broken?

 

“I can fix that.” Cas mumbled the words in a quiet whisper, so quiet Dean _almost_ didn’t hear. _Almost_ , there that word was again. At least this time it didn’t have a sad meaning, sort of. “It’s fine, Cas. They’ll heal, it just takes time.” The words fumbled out before he could even process them. And damned, if they didn’t hold just as much of a layer to them as Cas words had. But it was also something Cas couldn't just lay his fingers on a heal. Okay, that was a lie in so many ways. Dean was pretty sure Cas laying his hands anywhere on him would probably heal all wounds, superficial or profound. Except, now was not the time to be thinking about the angels soft warm hands, or his chapped yet most likely soft lips… and nope. No. Just. No. Dean was not going down that train of thought right now. Or ever. He didn’t technically have the right now. Actually. Sam wasn’t here. Sam was with Gabe. Sam didn’t want Cas  no more. NO. Dean cleared his throat, shutting his mind off as he went back to flipping the hamburgers in front of him.

 

“Why did you call Sam and I ‘lovebirds’ earlier?” The question honestly came so far out of left field Dean found himself taken back by it. Causing him to stumble a little and drop the hamburger patty on the countertop instead of the plate. Where the hell had that come from? Dean wondered clearing his throat once more as he picked up the patty and placed it on the bun. Five second rule still counted, right? “I don’t love Sam. Wait. No. I do love him. But,” Cas dropped the sentence off as if struggling to find the right words. Dean found his heart doing a flip at the start but then drop to the ground at the ending of it. “Cas, it was nothing. Just an expression. Let it go,” Dean spoke, he really didn’t want to talk about this. Talk about them, Sam and Cas. Just no. He still had a hangover and just no. Dean tried to keep the tightness and hurt out of his voice, his jaw quickly snapping shut. “I’ve upset you. I did—...I wasn’t meaning to—” Cas started but Dean quickly cut him off by turning around. “Just let it go, Cas.” Dean drew in a sharp breath, picking up the plate and making his way past Cas and out of the kitchen, leaving the angel behind with a look of hurt and confusion on his face.

 

“He’s mad at me, Sam. Actually, no—it’s..I just..—” Cas mumbled on the phone a few minutes later, after Dean had left and Cas used his angel hearing to listen for the sound of his door shutting. He just didn’t understand what he had done, sure he had been spending a little more time with Sam. But Cas didn’t understand the waves of emotion that were rolling off of Dean. They were so strong and mixed up and just crazy that Cas couldn’t exactly process them. Still being new to emotions and trying to understand them. Sure Cas had a small understand but he wasn’t some psychologist, he wasn’t an expert. “Just give him some time, Cas. He’ll come around,” Sam mumbled into the phone, in a hush hush voice. Cas wasn’t quite sure why Sam was being quiet, maybe because Cas was? “Sam. Why is Dean jealous? And why does he feel hurt and betrayed? Why is this making it hard for him to look at me or be in the same room? I mean I understand these emotions and know what they are but I don’t know what I’ve done to make Dean feel them…towards me,” Cas finally voiced the long frustrating question. He didn’t know emotions, but Sam did. He had been human all his life and grew up with emotions.

 

“Ask him.” Sam spoke, simply. As if that would answer all his questions, it wouldn’t. Cas knew Dean hated talking about his feelings and he couldn’t just go poking around in his head. Dean already felt betrayed, Cas couldn’t betray him more. Blowing out a frustrating sigh, Cas said his goodbyes and then hung up. Fine. So he was on his own to figure this out.  Sam nor Gabriel are going to help him, asshats.

  


 

**☆ﾟ. * ･ ｡ﾟ ★**

  


The soft knock on the door caused a confusion to sweep over Dean for a moment. Okay, so maybe he was being a coward and hiding in his room. Also, he was sulking and he wanted to be alone. But obviously, Cas was having none of that. Dean took in one short breath before mumbling in a short come in. Dean felt his heart drop a little in his stomach at the sight of his angel. Cas looked hurt, confused and exactly how he did when he thought Dean had slept with someone, last night. So small and almost vulnerable and fragile, it honestly broke the hunter’s heart to see his angel like that. It didn’t help that Dean knew it was his fault, making him feel guilty. Dean moved to the foot of the bed and sat down, waiting for Cas to join him, but he didn’t. Great. This couldn’t be good. Not at all. Fuck.

 

“Cas, what’s wrong?” Dean finally spoke up, breaking the long awkward and uncomfortable silence that stretched between them. Huh, when had that happened? Sure they’ve had moments of long silence but they had never been awkward or uncomfortable before. Everything was different and Dean genuinely hated it. God. He just wanted everything to go back to the way it was before. Or maybe not exactly before because that obviously wasn’t working either. Dean’s question still remained unanswered as the angel shifted his weight on his feet, uncomfortable and unsure. Whatever he wanted to talk about he wasn’t sure if it was alright and Dean made him feel that way. Fuck. This is not what the hunter wanted. If anything he’d rather just scoop the angel up in his arms and spend the rest of this weekend alone cuddling, as chickflick as it sounded, he didn’t give a shit. Yet he didn’t. He didn’t move, he just remained seated and waited, he gave Cas the time he needed.

 

“Can we talk?” The angel finally mumbled out a question, his eyes looking down at the floor, no emotion showing in his face. But Dean was sure if he caught his eyes all his emotions would show in those beautiful blue eyes that he loved so much. Oh that was a loaded question and it was never a good one. Anytime someone said they wanted to talk it was never good. Well, at least Dean knew it wasn’t going to be about them breaking up. They weren’t dating, so there was that. But it could still mean anything. What if Cas wanted to leave? Leave the bunker? Leave Dean for good? Just walk out of his life? He wouldn’t….would he? Okay, now Dean really didn’t want to talk. They were skating on thin ice as it was and he didn’t want it to break. Sure he could live with never getting to love Cas the way he wanted. But if his angel walked out that door and never looked back, Dean couldn’t live with that. Tossing his head back Dean sent up one more death glare and a silent prayer. Don’t you dare take him away from me, or so help me...I’ll find a way to kick your ass. Dean threatened the ceiling, the sky, Chuck. Sure he was a god, but damnit. Dean would find a way.

Swallowing around the lump in his throat, Dean looked back down at Cas who had his head tilted in a confused and questioning look. And God, Dean loved that look. Please don’t go. Dean whispered in his own dark thoughts as he looked at his angel before giving him a small nod, telling him to go. Dean was sure worry was rolling off of him in high waves, but he couldn’t help it. He was honestly more scared then worried. To lose Cas to Sam was one thing, but to lose him like this. He couldn’t do it. So, Dean sat quietly waiting for Cas to talk or question or do whatever it was he wanted to do. Cas gave a short nod, shifting once more, his eyes raising up to meet Deans for a short moment. Quickly, too quickly. Dean couldn’t tell what he was thinking or what his emotions were and Dean didn’t like it.

 

“I know you don’t like talking about your ‘feelings’—” Cas started but stopped, giving Dean one of his famous death glares for the groan that escaped the hunters lips. Dean hated it, but mygod if it kept Cas here then fine. He’d talk. But that didn’t mean he had to like it. Dean gave a small wave and a nod to tell Cas to keep going. Glaring a little more, Cas softened his features once more. Returning to looking vulnerable, worried and nervous. “And that is fine. I’ve been with you for almost 8, going on 9 years now. I’m used to it by now. So I’m not expecting much or even an answer. But I just….I.—” Cas spoke till he ran out of words, which caught Dean off guard a little bit. Dean quickly snapped his head up to look at the blue eyed angel in front of him, to read him. Yet, he hid it all too well. Almost. Whatever he was going to say he was nervous about saying. Dean wasn’t exactly sure why. Probably, nervous about how Dean was going to react. Great. Great. He made his angel afraid to speak his mind in fear of how he would react. Deargod, he fucked up so bad.

 

“Cas, I’m not going to jump down your throat….you’re free to say whatev.— uh. Whatever you want to talk about.” Dean cleared his throat half way through his sentence before finishing it, looking up at the angel. Cas gave a small nod, looking at the hunter for a moment before looking back down at the floor, his brow furrowed in confusion. “Why do you feel like I betrayed you?” The question came fluttering out of the angel’s mouth unexpectedly, from the look on Cas face. He looked almost horrified by it. Dean could tell Cas didn’t want to start there but it seemed to just slipped out. But it seemed to finally get the ball rolling for him. “I don’t know what I’ve done. I mean I could apologize for it. But I don’t know what I did. So I don’t know what I’d be apologizing for….you..— you look at me and you feel hurt, sad, betrayed, jealous and then so angry. I just...— I don’t know why. I don’t know what I’ve done. And I just...— I was wondering if you could tell me what I’ve done. So I can apologize for it. Or if it’s just because you wan...—...want me to leave, I can. I mean I don’t want to leave. This is my home, you are my home. I mean..—.. You and sam are my family and this is my home..but if—.. If you want me to leave I will..—.I’d honestly do—” Cas was about to ramble on some more but was quickly cut off..

 

“NO.” Dean spoke in a quiet yet loud, in the room, whisper as he stood up. Panic took over. Actually, first Dean felt paralyzed when he first heard Cas say he’d leave. Dear god, no. that was the last thing Dean wanted, Dean needed. Was for his blue eyed angel to just run off and leave the bunker, walk out of his life, leave him. Then panic took over. He kept talking about if Dean wanted him to leave and tossing that horrendous word leave around and panic flooded him. “You..—..you can’t leave. I mean, I know I fucked up and I’ve been an ass this last few weeks but I mean come on. You can’t really blame me...I mean with you and Sammy all together and then flaunting it in my face. I mean...— that’s bound to make a man jealous and go crazy and get grumpy. NO.” Dean said the word more firmly as he stood up from the bed, pacing the room. Panic flooding him, filling him up like a sinking ship. Which he was, he was sinking and fast because holy shit, he couldn’t lose Cas. Not like this. “You can’t leave me.” Dean threw the words out, not actually thinking about them. Not actually realizing he had said them. “I..—..I can’t..—...I couldn’t...—..No.” Dean whispered the word now in a more silent, almost broken whisper. Finally breaking his pacing around to look up at the angel, panic filled green eyes meeting confused filled blue eyes.

 

“Okay.” One word. That’s all Cas said, in a quite confused whisper. But Dean knew he meant it, meant that he wouldn’t leave. Except Dean had heard that word before. ‘I’m not leaving here without you.’ ‘Okay.’ How many times has Cas said ‘Okay’ but then ended up doing the opposite of it. He said he’d come back with Dean, but then he didn’t. Because he never planned on it. So did Cas okay just to set Dean at easy but not actually mean it. What if Cas didn’t mean it? What if he was just saying it, just like before but planned on leaving? Because he never planned on staying? No. Cas wouldn’t do that. Except, he would. Because he had. “You’re lying?” Dean meant for it to be a statement but it came out a broken whisper of a question, his eyes still filled with panic but now hurt lingering in there as well. How could he trust a word that was once broken before? He couldn’t. “Dean, I won’t leave you if you don’t want me to.” Cas spoke gentle, as if he had latched onto Dean’s thoughts. Or at least he seemed like he had but hadn’t fully. Because he’d know that wouldn’t calm him either, because it was like purgatory all over again. Except, completely different. “You’ve said that before and then left me.” Dean mumbled quietly, defeated, his eyes falling to the ground for a short moment before looking up at Cas.

 

“Dean, This isn’t purgatory. I’ll stay, if that’s what you w..—” That gravel yet gentle tone didn’t sooth Dean, not like it was supposed too. He found himself in full panic mood and he couldn’t shut it off. His brain didn’t even pick up the words Cas had just spoke. Instead Dean completely cut him off. Going into his own rambling. “I know I’ve been an ass lately. Okay, if there was a bigger word then ass, that’s me. But I mean...I don’t...—.. I..— you can’t leave! Because I mean even though you and Sam seem to like have this big thing going and it kills me to have to..—..that doesn’t mean I want you to leave! Because I mean...—..that’s like ten times worse than just having to sit through you two being all….together..—…I still need you in my life..— even if you don’t need me anymore...—..I still NEED you. Even if you don’t NEED me anymore…—” Dean mumbled, putting heavy emphasis on the word need. God, he might as well just say he loves him. Maybe then it would make him stay. Because honestly, Dean couldn’t do it. Okay, maybe he could. He could half ass function and live without Cas. Except he didn’t want too. He didn’t want to live in a world without him. Fuck it all to hell if that made him sound all girly and chickflicky.

 

“Dean.— Wait. You think Sam and I are ‘together’?” Confusion washed over the angel, causing him to furrow his brow as he looked down in deep concentration. As if going back in time and trying to figure out what exactly would cause the oldest hunter to think this. Dean quickly stopped in his track at the question, quickly whipping his head around and looking at the angel. Ignoring the fact that the sight alone was beyond adorable, which he would never admit to. “Think? I know. I have eyes.” Dean spoke in a grumpy tone, which Cas just threw up a glare before going back to concentrating. Dean threw his hands up in the air before sitting back down, here he was freaking out about Cas leaving and he was over thinking about Sam. A ping of jealousy rose in the hunter’s chest causing him to cross his arms over his chest and almost slip back into sulking. Whatever Cas searching for he didn’t seem to find it because he looked back over at Dean, Confusion clear on his face and eyes. He didn’t get it. He didn’t see it. “Why would you think Sam and I are ‘together’?” Cas voiced the question and god, Dean wish he hadn’t. He really didn’t want to talk about this. Hell, in this moment he’d rather talk about his own feelings than about those two together.

 

“Cas, I don’t think, I know….what I don’t get is how you don’t?” Dean questioned, his own confusion and mind catching up to him. Green eyes looking up at blue eyes, waiting for Dean to answer his question. The angel really didn’t know. “Cas, Sam has pretty much been courting you for the last three weeks...I mean, taking you to the bee farm, the grocery store runs, the small milk runs, going on hunts together, going out and doing small things together, like the walk in the park, or the farms market thing you guys did. He just took you out last weekend, to Lawrence at the drive-in movie theater. I mean you guys do the whole morning routine even, wake up, go for a jog, get breakfast and lunch or whatever it is together most times after…Then there are the nights, you two huddle around each other. Then the small little things that most people don’t notice, always talking quietly and the silent glances, then all the hand and shoulder touching and silent knowing smiles, the long glances, the staring contest, the longing, the sparkle in the eye when you see each other, the always worrying, the bickering, the..the.—” At first Dean was simply ticking things off that the two had been doing together that had been getting under Dean’s skin, driving him crazy, making him hella jealous.

 

Ticking them off out loud, Dean got it. He finally got it. Why it had all made him mad, made him jealous. Because it wasn’t just that Sam and Cas were together, it was that, but it was the what they were doing around each other. Because it was their thing, Dean and Cas thing, it was what they always did around each other. Till about three weeks ago, when Sam argued with Dean about this exact thing. That son of a bitch, he knew what he was doing and he did it on purpose. That motherfucker. Dean wasn't sure if he wanted to beat the shit out of Sam or send him a gift basket with a big thank you card. Both. Sam pointed these very things out to Dean, but Dean being Dean ignored it. Rolled his eyes at it and just opened a beer. Dean couldn’t help the snort laugh that escaped his lips as he set down on the end of the bed with a flop, shaking his head. He got played, good, really good. He had to give it to Sammy. Except Cas, poor Cas didn’t understand it.

 

“Dean, I don’t understand what any of that has to do with thinking Sam and I are together?” Cas questioned once more, the angel took a step closer looking down at the hunter in confusion. Dean couldn’t help the almost goofy grin plastered on his face as his eyes looked up at the angel in front of him, his angel. Of course Cas didn’t understand, because looking back on it now with a clear and less jealous hot head Dean could see it all. Cas was mostly confused half the time, looking at Sam like he had lost his mind a little bit. Because Cas got it, he knew what Sam was doing under a certain level. Returned it but not in the way he returned it all with Dean. Damnit, Dean really could laugh at it all now. “Everything you just explained is what we do as well, minus the bee farm and the movie drive-in. Except I didn’t even go with Sam to the movies, Gabe went. I went to the bookstore, while they watched movies. But if  I remember correctly this never made you believe we were together? So why would me doing that stuff with Sam be any different? Besides it being slightly awkward and a little uncomfortable?” Cas voiced the last of it more to himself than he did Dean. Dean could see the pinwheels spinning in the angels head, as he tried to figure it out. The hunter wanted to help him out but he was still calming his racing heart from the mild panic he had and the laughter wanting bubble out. Because goddamn it, he got played. Thanks for the heads up, Chuck. You’re still an asshole. Dean threw out in his head towards the sky, shaking his head a little bit.

 

“Wait. If you didn’t go to the movies then why did you say you did?” Dean finally questioned, once all the words settled in as he looked up at Cas. Who, in Dean’s opinion, was still too far away from him, he really should change that. Cas tilted his head, confused and Dean couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter at the site. God he really did love it. “Out of all the questions I’ve asked, this is what you ask me? Instead of answering my questions?” Cas challenged, with a small tilt of his lips, trying to hold back the amused smile fighting its way onto his lips. Dean couldn’t help but shrug. “Sam asked me to. I figured it was because he went with Gabriel and he just didn’t want you knowing about their relationship. Also never went on the ‘brunch’ date things either, that was Gabe. I usually just went to check out some of the old antique stores. Again Sam asked me to lie, again figured it was to hide his relationship with Gabriel.” Cas spoke with a small shrug, something he had clearly picked up from the Winchester after spending so much time with them. Dean couldn’t help the goofy grin that still remained on his face as he looked up at his angel. Because damn, he really did get played. But, even so it was all in the best way possible. He was still pissed at Sam for playing him like that, and for stealing Cas away from him. Even if it was a fake steal and also used to cover up his relationship, which he so saw that part coming.

“Dean, why are you grinning like that? Why do you look like you just realized some major miracle? Dean?” Cas questioned once more, in an almost grumpy tone now. If Dean was being honest, it almost sounded like Cas was having a tantrum and if Dean found it a little amusing and completely adorable, ohwell. “Dean, will you please stop staring at me like you are seeing me for the first time in years and maybe answer one of my damn questions.” Oh, that was definitely a grumpy tantrum like tone, honestly all it was missing was the pout and a foot stomp. Ah, scratch the pout. It was now out and in full display along with the puppy dog eyes that put Sam’s to shame and Dean couldn't help but laugh at it all. Dean couldn’t help but simply just stare at the beautiful man before him, even if he was in full pout mode that was sure to switch to god-fearing pissed off angel in a few minutes. Dean really didn’t care because he was seeing Cas different for the first time in three weeks, maybe not years but definitely three weeks.

 

Goddamn it, he really did love Cas. “What? Did you lose the ability to speak?” Cas was now switching off the grumpy mode to irritated mode and Dean loved it just as much. The angel quickly folded his arms over his chest, staring down at the hunter for a few more minutes. Dean simply stared back with the same goofy grin on his lips, green amused eyes meeting blue stormy eyes. Cas raised an eyebrow, his last form of a question. “Fine. Then I’m leaving.” The angel mumbled, tossing his hands in the air before going to move. Leaving. The word echoed around inside the hunter's head, snapping him out of whatever happy daze he had been in. Crippling fear circling his heart, just because Dean had a revelation didn’t mean Cas had and now he was going to leave because Dean wouldn’t explain it to him.

 

“Don’t.. Don’t go..—..please?” Dean whispered the last word like a silent broken pray, panic filling his eyes once more. Dean hands had moved to catch the angels arm to pull him back, but missed by a mile because they had went up in the air. Instead, Dean hooked two fingers into two of the belt loops on Cas dress pants, pulling the angel back to him, but closer this time. The action caught Cas off guard, causing him to stumble closer to Dean, than Dean had aimed for but wasn’t arguing against it. Cas hand had shot out and come to rest on Dean’s shoulders to brace himself. Once the angel had sturdied himself, he still didn’t move his hands and Dean didn’t move them either. Pleading green eyes looked up to meet wide blue eyes, caution and alarm wrapped tightly around them and Dean didn’t like it. “I told you before. I’m staying for as long as you’ll have me, Dean.” The words came out in a small, breathless almost, whisper. Cas was afraid to breath, as if it would break whatever bubble they had fallen into.

 

“Promise?” “Promise.” Cas spoke back immediately, not even giving Dean time to breath. A small soft smile pulled at the edges of Dean’s mouth. Green eyes locking with blue eyes and for a long time they stayed like that, quietly staring at each other, as if they hadn’t in a long time. To Dean it felt like it had been a long time, and in ways it had. Three freaking weeks. Might as well have been a life time. Dean pulled Cas the rest of the way in, making the angel stand between his legs. The hunter unhooked his fingers from the belt loops and wrapped his arms around the angel's waist, holding him as close as Dean could manage while sitting down and Cas standing. Resting his forehead against the angels stomach, a soft smile on his lips as they stood there quietly. Cas arms at some point ended up resting on Dean’s shoulders. One hand coming to rest at the base of Dean’s neck while running one through Dean’s hair a few times before resting at the base of his neck as well. Both remaining quiet, a comfortable shared silence, while Dean simply held Cas as close as he could and Cas letting him.

 

A soft hopeful smile tugged at the corners of Cas’ lips, his eyes looking down at the hunter. Worry filled him, but hope filled him as well. Not exactly sure what had brought this out of the other man, but glad that it did. Part of Cas was sure it had something to do with the game Sam and Gabriel had been playing, but he’d worry about those two later. Right now, the angel was more focused on Dean and what exactly this meant. Cas didn’t want to hope, but he couldn't help but find a little blossom of hope spread through him. If anything, it was a start. A small start, but it was a start. Cas was happy with a small start, rather than nothing at all. After all, Cas had been waiting years for this, just as long as Dean had been waiting. So, hell ya Cas was going to take this moment and enjoy it for however long it lasted. If it was just this moment here or till Sam and Gabriel returned. Whatever, he was going to take it. Sure he hoped it would be the start for everything, but even if it wasn’t he’d still take it. After everything, they at least deserved this small moment.


	3. Love Me Tenderly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WARNING. Smut ahead, you have been warned. c:

**————      ⚓     ————**

_ “ All I have, all I need, he's the air _

_                 I would kill to breathe  Holds my love _

_                            in his hands,. ” —— Love Me Tenderly, Please. _

  
  


**☆ﾟ. * ･ ｡ﾟ ★**

  
  


“Dean?” The deep gravel voice washed over Dean like a wave, all at once like a hurricane yet peaceful all at the same time. The hunter wasn’t sure how long they had been standing there, but he didn’t care. They could stand there till next year and Dean would be completely okay with that, happy and content. He didn’t care how sappy that sounded. Cause damn it, they deserve it. Dean knew that now, more than ever, he knew it. But did Cas? Did Cas even want this? Shit. Dean didn’t think about that. He was pretty sure the angel did, but hell there was still that small piece of Dean that had doubts. For all he knew, Cas didn’t even want this. Which was what prompted him to finally answer back to the man. “Hmm?” Okay, so it wasn’t much of an answer. He really didn’t want to ruin the moment and if Cas didn’t want this. Well that meant this was the only moment he was going to get, so he was milking it for as long as he could. Dean had Cas back, even if for a short moment, he had his angel and finally had him close. He wasn’t going to let go so easily, but if Cas wanted him to he would. “Dean..—..I don’t want...I..—” Cas mumbled for words and Dean felt his heart sink, he really didn’t want to hear this. He just wanted five more minutes, five more minutes of this, of him just holding Cas. Dean took in one soft deep breath before finally working up the courage to let the angel go, even though he didn’t want too. Lifting his head, Dean let his eyes meet with cas as his arms fell from around the angel’s waist to rest beside him. 

 

“Cas?” Dean raised an eyebrow slightly, his eyes still locked with the angel’s. Dean wasn’t quite sure what he wanted here, he thought the angel had wanted to leave or at least move. But he still had his arms wrapped around his neck and wasn’t moving away from Dean, which left him slightly confused.  “Oh.. —uh. Sorry.” The angel mumbled, a deep blush creeped up on him as he moved his arms away from Dean and took a few steps back, actually it was about half of one because he was still way too close. But Dean wasn’t going to complain about it. Hell he was completely okay with Cas coming back in and crowding his face. Just Dean figured that Cas didn’t want to, except now he was mumbling and blushing like a little school girl and Dean was slightly confused. Shifting on the bed, Dean stood up and now crowded Cas a little more than he had intended. However, Cas was still standing close to him before he stood up, which now placed him more closer to the hunter as he stood. Now, it was Dean’s turn to look down at Cas and him to look up at the hunter with wide eyes filled with caution and alarm. Dean wasn’t sure if Cas just wasn’t on the same page as Dean, or if he didn’t want this and was too afraid to speak up. Yeah, it was most likely the first one on that. This was Cas he was talking about, angel of the lord, Castiel wasn’t afraid to speak his mind about something he didn’t like. Dean knew that all too well, but there was still room for doubt. 

 

Dean moved his arms up once more, his hands coming up to rest on Cas hips. His thumbs moving in a small circle motion, softly massaging the clothed hip bones. His eyes still locked with Cas, waiting for any kind of sign that this wasn’t what Cas wanted. Fear never rose into Cas’ eyes, a little panic but that was most likely because Dean was finally taking what he wanted. But it could be because he didn’t want this, Dean always leaving room for doubt. Dean took a step forward, towards Cas and as if in rhythm with him Cas took a step back. Dean couldn’t help the small grin that spread to his lips at the nervous swallow and lick of the lips Cas did, not even noticing he did it. Once more Dean took a step towards Cas, causing him to take a step back. They kept it up till Cas’s back made a small umf noise when it came to meet the door, now making him trapped between Dean and the door. A small sound escaped Cas’ lips, Dean was pretty sure it was a squeal of surprise. He couldn't help the soft grin on his lips. Technically Cas could easily just zap out, he was an angel after all. Dean had a feeling he wasn’t going anywhere, any time soon. A small smile tugged at Cas lips, his eyes still trained on Dean’s, but he didn't’ make a move. Dean was pretty sure he wasn’t even pretending to breath anymore, he was just there stalk still — waiting. 

 

“Cas?” The name mumbled out of Dean’s mouth as he raised an eyebrow. The simple call of his name caused Cas eyes to once more look up at Dean’s eyes and away from his lips, where they had fallen. Drawing his attention back up to Dean. “All you have to say is one word. If you don’t want this, all you have to do is say no and I’ll stop.” Dean whispered the words, his breath tangling with Cas’s. Who was breathing, just shallow and low. They hadn’t even actually done anything and the angel’s breathing was already messed up and out of rhythm. Dean couldn’t help the small grin that came to his lips, but he had no room to laugh. His heart was beating a mile a minute and his own breathing was out of whack. Dean gave a short nod in hopes of enticing some kind of answer out of Cas, at least a nod to know he heard the words. Cas eyes fell back down once more to Dean’s lips before looking up, giving a short nod. Dean wasn’t sure if it was a yes, go for it, or a yes I understand what you are saying. So, Dean waited a little bit more before removing a hand from Cas hip and resting it on his neck and moving it up a little. 

 

Dean let his eyes meet Cas, wide blown blue eyes, searching for any kind of sign. But Cas brain must have shut off because there wasn’t anything there, just a mix of hope, panic, worry, caution, arousal and alarm. At least he had arousal in his eyes, that was a plus. Dean thought. Dean let his thumb run back and forth across Cas’ cheek a few times, waiting for that no that might come. Once Cas leaned into the soft touch Dean let a small smile spread to his lips before he finally made his move. 

 

“No.” The word came out as a squeaky whisper, Dean would’ve missed it if he hadn’t of been so close. Dean actually wasn't even sure if he heard it and for a moment thought he had made it up in his head. Almost. Dean had almost kissed the man he loved. This day was just going to shit, it had been going good but now it just took a 180 he didn't’ see coming. Pulling his head back, eyes wide with shock, as he looked down at Cas. Well, if that wasn’t awkward Dean didn’t know what was. Holy shit, the panic he thought was hope really was panic? Which was confusing because Cas didn’t zap out like he could’ve. It was even more confusing because of the look of pure horror on Cas face mixed with shock, as if he didn’t believe he said the word himself. Dean opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out, so he quickly closed it. He was like a fish outta water. Opening and closing his mouth, before finally settling on closing it. Clearing his throat as if to gain back some kind of confidence, he went to move. But he didn’t make it far from Cas, actually he didn’t get to move at all. Cas’ hands flew out and grabbed the front of his over shirt pulling him back in, actually pulling him in closer then he had been before. Their bodies now pressed completely against each other, everything touching except their lips, their heads held back a few inches. Okay, now Dean was really confused which caused him to raise an eyebrow in question. Still unable to use his words to voice it.

 

“Yes.? No.—.I mean yes..wait..—no, like I didn’t.— I,. yeno.—I didn’t mean that!” Cas fumbled out, tumbling over words that didn’t even make sense. Dean couldn’t help the amused grin that spread to his lips at the site before him. The poor angel was so flustered, shocked and aroused he was completely lost and fumbling for words. Dean knew he was good but he didn’t really know he was that good, all he did was push him against the door and moved in a little close and he was coming undone. Dean really had no room to talk, he was one breath away from joining him, if he hadn’t of said no. Which Dean was still confused, maybe they needed a little bit of distance for Cas’ sake. Once more Dean went to move away from Cas, but the angel wasn't having it. His grip tightening on the shirt, using his angel strength to hold Dean in place. Cas once more looked up to meet Dean’s face. Once he saw the amused smug look plastered on the hunter's face, he went from flustered to glaring at Dean. Which only made Dean chuckle, because it was honestly more adorable then it was scary in this moment. “It’s not funny, Dean.” Cas mumbled out, clearly gaining back the ability to form sentence along with his glare. It only made Dean laugh a little more, which caused Cas to go more into a grumpy state. 

 

“I take it all back. I do mean it.” Cas grumbled out as he let his grip going from Deans plaid over shirt and instead tried pushing him away. Recovering just in time, Dean snaked his arms around Cas waist, holding him tightly. Causing Dean to only leave for a short moment before smashing right back against Cas. “No you don’t.” Dean chuckled once more leaning into the angel, letting his amused smug look fall into a soft smile. His eyes looking down and meeting Cas eyes, once more softening the moment back to the tender moment it was before. Cas folded his arms a crossed his chest, still in playing the grumpy almost tantrum like state. No scratch that, he was actually pouting now and Dean couldn’t help as the smile grew a little more, he was just too damn adorable. “Fine, no I don’t. I mean I do.—” Cas once more stumbled over words for a short moment before giving up with a sigh, his forehead falling forward to rest on Dean’s chest. Dean couldn’t help the chuckle that rumbled out of his chest at the sight of his angel. At this point, Dean knew what he was trying to say but he couldn't help but find it amusing. He still wasn’t sure what had made Cas say no, but he knew he didn’t mean to in sense that he didn’t want it. 

 

“Dean..—..Dean. Stop laughing!.Ugh. Dean.” Cas mumbled against the hunters chest for a few short moments before lifting his head, sending up a death glare at him. Finally getting his laughter under control, Dean gave a soft smile and a short nod to Cas. Hopefully encouraging him enough to try and speak what he was trying to say. Cas tried once more to speak what he was thinking, but nothing seemed to come out. Fluster and arousal working against him this moment, his back slightly pressed against the door, Dean’s body resting against every inch of his, he couldn’t think. Dean knew it, which was why he was now biting his lower lip, trying to hold back the laughter while shaking his head softly. “Dean Winchester, I swear to all things holy. If you don’t stop laughing at me, I’m going to smite you where you stand.” Cas threw out the threat some what clear but still mumbled and flustered. But Dean couldn’t help but laugh softly at it, the pout that lined his angels lips kept him from taking it serious. “No you won’t.” Dean whispered back, after a few moments. His laughter dying down, the moment once more returning back to the tender moment it was before. Soft and gentle. Dean let his thumb run a crossed Cas lower lips, softly a feathery touch, as if hoping to wipe the pout off his angels lips. It only seemed to fluster him even more, as he mumbled something Dean hadn’t managed to catch. “...No, I wouldn’t. But I will withhold my lack of personal space to you if you don’t.” Cas threatened but it came out as a low whisper and far from a threat. Just a ghostly whisper of words, his breathing once more choppy and all over the place. If he was human he’d probably be concerned of the wild way his heart was beating and his choppy breathing. He was angel and still worried. Cas brain was now focused on Dean being close, so close, closer than he had ever actually been before and Cas didn’t know how to function. 

 

Dean let a soft ghostly smile spread across his lips at the angel’s words, raising an eyebrow at his threat. He would’ve chuckled at it but he couldn’t manage to get it out, it came out as a breathless like laugh as it tangled with Cas breath. Dean’s eyes once more locked with Cas, he could honestly got lost in them for days. The deep ocean blue eyes, that he loved so much. The now soft pink cheeks, the soft chapped lips, the messy black hair, the feel of Cas’ lean yet hard body pressed against his, the way they seemed to line up just perfectly. His flustered ways, the adorable grumpy pout, that gummy smile he had at times, the soft chuckle he saves for Dean, every inch of him, everything that makes him Cas. Dean loves it. God how had it taken them this long to get here? He didn’t know but it didn’t matter because they were there now. Dean was going to remember it too, every detail. He was going to map it out, memorize it all, everything, every look. Now that he finally had Cas in his arms, it was going to be hell to get him to let go. Scratch that. He was never going to let go, ever. He was finally able to hold the love of his life the way he wanted and he wasn’t ever going to give that up, bedamned or not. Whether, it was meant to be or not. Though, it was meant to be. They all knew it. Just took Dean a little longer to stop denying it and accept that he deserved it. 

 

“Dean?” The word was a soft whisper, pulling Dean back to the moment in hand. Concern filled the angels voice, his blue eyes looking up and searching the green eyes staring down at him. Dean thumb caressed Cas’ cheek softly once more. Dean chuckled shaking his head. “Goddamn, I love you.” The words flew out in a breathless ghost of a laugh and he didn’t even panic or freakout that they rushed out. They were true, they were real and damn if it wasn’t how he felt in this moment, how he felt every time he was around Cas. The angel deserved to know. “Dean—” Dean didn’t even wait for Cas to finish that sentence. The last thing Dean remembered was wide blue eyes filled with shock, awe and arousal before Dean finally moved in capturing Cas lips with his own. A soft umph sound escaped Cas lips, as Deans finally met with his. Cutting off anything he was going to say. Cas shock lasted a few seconds before he realized what was going on and got with the program. Soon the angels lips were moving along with Deans, kissing him back. It was a gentle, soft and heated but nothing else behind it. 

 

They were close yet not close enough, for Dean’s liking. Cas lips were as soft as Dean imaged they would be, chapped yet soft. And god, did Dean love it. Without breaking the kiss in one swift movement, Dean moved his arms to wrap around Cas waist lifting him up off the ground. Cas legs quickly came up to wrap around Dean’s waist and locking behind his back. His arms moving from the hunter's chest to wrap around his neck pulling him in as close as he could. Dean pushed his body flat against Cas, flattening him against the door, his hands coming to rest on the angels hips once more. Finally breaking the kiss, Dean pulled back just a few inches and couldn’t help the small grin that played on his lips at the sight of Cas chasing his lips, wanting more. They stayed like that for a long moment, staring at each other, as if they didn’t do it all the time or not enough. Cas finger tips moved up to settle in Dean’s hair as Dean moved one of his own hands up to run through Cas’ hair himself. They stayed like that for a long time, breaths mingling together, just as entangled as their bodies were, staring at each other. Starving for this, for all of it and god Dean couldn’t figure out why for the life of him why he waited so long. Why they waited so long? Because Dean was an idjit and would rather push it away, out of fear. No going back now. Shockingly the thought didn’t scare Dean, not anymore, not like it use to. 

 

“Dean..?” The soft whispered tremble that fumbled from Cas lips pulled Dean out of his thoughts, out of his stance of memorizing Cas. It wasn’t like Dean didn’t already know every inch of Cas, he’d stared long enough to memorize the angel in front of him. Except, now it was like in a whole new light, a whole new meaning to memorizing. Not just looking, staring, but memorizing the small turn up of his lips in the small smile, his long lashes, the depths of those blue eyes, but also memorizing the body pressed tight against him. Memorize the curves of Cas body, the feel of Cas skin on his own, the taste of Cas in every way, the more intimate side of memorizing and God, Dean wanted it all. Arousal, desire, need, devotion, loyalty, love and so many more emotions twisted in the angels eyes, mixing all at once. Dean was positive his eyes reflected it all back, after all the eyes where the window to one’s soul. Even if Cas didn’t exactly need the eyes to see Dean’s soul. “Cas.” Dean whispered, he would not call it a whimper, mumbled back out at Cas. The hunter spoke as if he was seeing the angel for the first time and in ways it was just like seeing Cas for the first time, new light. 

 

“You’re still hurt.” Cas spoke the statement in a soft mumble, one of his hands had moved from around his neck to now to rest on the side of his face, Cas thumb tracing the large cut across his cheek. Dean turned his head a little into the motion, kissing softly against Cas’ palm before resting his head in the angels hand for a soft moment. “You can fix that.” Dean mumbled, repeating the words Cas had spoken to him earlier. Dipping his head once more, Dean captured Cas lips with his own. But this time he threw a little more heat behind it, all those years of desire and arousal finally bubbling up and bursting over, meeting Cas’ own. Dragging his tongue across Cas’ bottom lip, awaiting entrance to deepen the kiss. A small surprised gasp escaped the angel, opening up for Dean. Taking advantage, Dean slid his tongue into clash with Cas. Deepening the kiss enticed a deep groan from both the hunter and the angel. Cas’ hands in Dean’s hair, Dean’s hands resting on Cas’ hip bones, rubbing soothing circles on the clothed skin. Their tongues in a passionate stormy dance with each other, fighting for dominance. Kissing Cas was like coming up for fresh air after drowning for a long time. Beautifully passionate, relieving, like being reborn and god did Dean love it.

 

Wrapping one of his arms back around Cas waist, Dean used the other to push them off the door and slowly started walking backwards. Once he felt the back of his legs hit the edge of the bed, Dean carefully lowered them down. With him now sitting on the bed and Cas straddling his lap.  Heat and arousal might’ve made Dean forget about his ribs, but now that he was carrying Cas he was fully reminded. Causing him to break the kiss and let out a small puff of air, making Cas cast a worried look down at him. But Dean was having none of it, they’ve waited long enough and like hell he was going to let last night ruin it. Diving back in, Dean reached up and captured Cas lips with his once more, pulling the angel back in. Dean’s hands moved from around Cas waist, to run up and down along the angels side, softly. Clothing, too much clothing. Running his hands down to the bottom of the shirt, Dean let his fingertips dance around the hem of Cas’ shirt his knuckles like a feather soft touch on skin. 

 

“If at anytime you want to stop, Cas, just say the word and we will. No questions asked.” Dean mumbled against the angels lips, once the kiss was broken — foreheads resting together. Blue eyes fluttered open to already met waiting green eyes. Dean was once again giving Cas an out, if he wanted it. “No?” The word floated out in a mix of a statement and question, causing Cas to once more look down in shock. Dean let out a soft chuckle shaking his head some, his eyebrow raising in a question, though he knew what the angel meant.“I was going for stop, but no works.” Dean chuckled once more at the feel of the angel relaxing against him, before nodding softly. Leaning up, Dean placed a few soft kisses on the side of Cas jaw and down his exposed throat before pulling back a few inches. Hooking a couple fingers around the rim of the shirt, Dean quickly pulled it up and over the angel’s head exposing his abdomen and chest area. So much smooth, lean skin and all of it was Dean’s and he planned on mapping it all out, learning every curve of it, every taste, licking and biting. Oh, Dean had so many plans. Hunger and arousal quickly overtook Dean, a low almost possessive growl escaped the hunters lips causing a small shiver and whimper to escape from the angel.

 

It was Cas who captured Dean’s lips this time in a sloppy, heated kiss, as his hands moved from around the oldest Winchesters neck to pushing down the plaid over-shirt and tossing it somewhere behind him. Once removed, Cas moved quickly to remove the black t-shirt Dean was still wearing. Breaking the small, breathless, kisses they had been sharing long enough to remove the shirt and let it join the others on the floor. Wrapping his arms around the angel’s waist again, Dean lifted them up off the bed long enough to twist around and lay Cas down on the bed. Cas removed his arm from around the hunter's neck long enough to move to the middle of the bed, Dean quickly following after him. Slotting himself between Cas legs Dean quickly captured the soft chapped lips with his own, before moving his lips down along Cas jawline and down the slope of his neck. Resting on his forearms, Dean let his body rest fully against Cas, finally skin on skin and oh how it was an amazing feeling. A soft moan escaped from the angel's lips, matching the ones that escaped the hunter’s at the feeling. Dean continued to press soft butterfly kisses along the length of Cas neck and along his jaw. 

 

Stopping only once to let out a soft shudder of a breath against the angel's neck at the feel of Cas finger tips softly roaming up and down Dean’s side, and over his ribs — as much as he could reach. Dean could feel the angels grace linger from his fingertips and soak into Dean, healing everything — all the way down to the once mattered heart. Lightly suckling and biting over the angel’s clavical bone and up his throat, not biting hard enough to break skin but enough to leave his mark — letting the world know Cas was his. Dean’s hips grinded down into Cas causing his clothed erection to rub against Cas, still too much clothes. The friction once more sparking another kind of heat to coil in his lower belly as the angel let out a almost needy whimper, his hips bucking up in seek of the friction again. “Patience.” Dean mumbled, a grin on his lips at the sight of the angel falling apart already. “Dean.” The angel let the name roll off his tongue in a needy whimper, again his hips bucking up in seek of friction. Patience was one thing the angel didn’t have, and Dean was only holding on to by a thread. A low rumble escaped Dean before moving back up to capture the angels lips, deepening the kiss as the angel immediately opened up for him. Breaking the kiss once more, Dean leaned back this time losing all connection with the angel — earning him a grumble of protest. Missing the skin on skin himself, Dean wasted no time unbuttoning and unzipping the angels dress slacks. Hooking two fingers under the hem of the pants and boxes, Dean quickly removed the clothing as Cas lifted his hips to help. Now fully naked, Dean let his eyes roam all over the angels body, taking it all in. So much skin, so much to ravish and Dean didn’t know where he wanted to start first. 

 

Cas wasn’t as thick as Dean was, but he was still far from average and licking precum and my god, Dean loved the sight of it. All of it, Cas was flushed and flustered, blue eyes looking up to meet Green, waiting. Dean knew exactly where he wanted to start, that beautiful mouth. Diving back in, Dean quickly captured the angels lips bringing out a surprised umf nose before Cas got with the motion and kissed back. Just like that, Dean moved his lips and moved to leave wet, heated, open mouth kisses along the angels jawline and down his throat. Moving over to the other side, Dean repeated the same action on Cas jaw and throat. Running his hands, open palmed and flat, against Cas sides. Dean ran his hands up and down Cas side, over one ass cheek and down his thigh, before moving it back up. Repeating the same motion on the other side, so much skin, so much to explore and Dean was going to explore it all. At least for as long as his angel could hold on and judging by the heavy breathing needy whimpers it wasn’t going to be much longer. Dean let his hands come to rest right on Cas’ now exposed hip bones, rubbing small soothing circles, while his mouth nipped and suckled it’s way down Cas abdomen — leaving behind small marks, Dean would sooth over by running his tongue over them. Cas hips once more tried to buck up in seek of friction, but Dean used his hands to hold him down — a mix of moans and needy whimpers escaping the angel. Dean was rock hard and aching, but this wasn’t about him and pleasuring himself right now, this was about Cas, pleasuring him and making it as good as he could for the angel. 

 

“Dean..” Cas blew out his name in a mix of a moan and whimper, arousal, desire, need all mixed in with it. “Shh, babe, I got you.” Dean whispered back, hot breath blowing across Cas’ lower abdomen. Following the dark patch of hair all the way down, Dean finally came face to face with Cas’ cock that was leaking precum. Hunger, arousal, heat and desire, all swirled around inside of Dean moving down towards his own aching cock. Licking his lips, Dean let his eyes move up to look at his angel once more. Head thrown back against the pillows, biting his own lower lip as if to stifle the soft pleasurable sounds escaping his lips. Looking back down, dean let his tongue dart between his lips and swirl around the head of Cas cock, before finally taking the angels aching member into his mouth.

 

“Dea—oooh.” The angel went to mumble something, but was quickly taking over with a sharp intake of air followed by a moan escaping between the angel’s lips. Cas hips once more tried to buckup but Dean’s hands held him down, as he continued to go down on the angels cock till the angel was an even more flustered mess and close to coming. A grumbled protest escaped the angels lips when Dean’s lips left Cas’ cock, causing a grin to come to Dean’s own lips. Once more making his way up the angels abdomen leaving wet open kisses along the way as he travelled back up to his neck, suckling a bruise there before making his way back up to the angels lips — capturing them in a more heated and wet kiss. “Dean..” Cas whimpered once more, wanting to say more but failing to get the words out as his hips buckled up once more. “Too much clothing.” Cas grumbled, when his own erection rubbed against Dean’s still clothed one. A low chuckle escaped the hunters lips, leaning back down for one more deep kiss before pulling away from the angel completely. 

 

Standing up quickly Dean hooked two fingers around the sweatpants he was wearing and his own boxers before pulling them down and discarding them. Now completely naked, Dean quickly made his way back to Cas in under a minute. Not giving the angel enough time to process Dean leaving. Once more slotting himself between Dean’s leg, a pleasurable moan escaped between the men, tangling together at the feeling of flesh against flesh. Every inch of their flesh, against each other.  No more barriers. No more clothing, just skin on skin. Yet, it still didn’t feel like enough. They both wanted, needed, more. Conquering Cas lips once more, Dean deepened the kiss even more. Cas hips bucking up as Dean grinded down, their erections rubbing together, gaining the friction they desperately seeked. Moans escaping both the men, their breaths tangling together, foreheads coming to rest together. Dean hand once more running down the length of Cas, all the way to his thigh and back up, touching as much skin as he can. Cas’ hands resting palms flat, fingers spread, against Dean's side, moving up and down slowly. Both taking it all in.

 

“Dean, I want..—..I need.—” The words came out in a flustered mumble, hips once more moving up in seek of friction, Dean grinding down to give him that. Green eyes fluttering open to look down in pleading blue eyes. Arousal, desire, heat, want and need and so much more rolling around in those blue eyes, Dean was sure his reflected back just the same. “Okay...okay..—..I got you.” Dean mumbled out a response, softly smashing his mouth to Cas pressing a couple soft kisses before disappearing once more for a split second to grab the lube from the bedside table  and then returning. “Say the word and we’ll stop. Just say it.” Dean spoke once he returned to the angel, flesh on flesh again, hovering over him. Green eyes locked with blue eyes, Dean once more giving Cas an out if he wanted to take it. But Cas was having none of it, shifting a little it was Cas who leaned up and captured Dean’s lips this time. Pulling him back down to him, Cas moved his arms from around Dean’s neck to let his hands frame Dean’s face. “I need you. I want this.” Cas spoke, still flustered and mumbling mess, but it was as clear and focused as he could get right now. Making it a clear point to Dean, he didn’t want to back out or leave but he wanted this.

 

Leaving a couple more soft kisses on Cas lips while lathering up a few fingers and moving to work Cas open. Working to open Cas up Dean could feel the angel tense under him. “Relax.” Dean mumbled, hot breath spreading across the angels lower abdomen, Dean could feel the muscles twitch at the sensation. Dean continued to press hot wet open mouth kisses on Cas’s abdomen while one hand rubbed small soothing circles on his hip bone and the other slowly worked him open. All the while soft pleasurable moans and groans of frustration fluttered from the angel below him. A mixed howl moan escaped from the angel’s lips as he tossed his head back onto the pillow told Dean he'd hit the magic spot when he started curling the two fingers inside Cas, working to open him up for Dean. It didn’t take long, a few more brushes against Cas prostate and the angel was a writhing mess beneath the hunter, and damn if Dean didn’t take pride in that. He was the reason Cas was completely gone, or at least three steps away from gone. Dean knew if he didn’t get inside Cas soon they were both going to come, soon. Both of them painfully hard, and needing the connection, that closeness, skin on skin once more. A mumbled ready slipped from the angel's lips, mattered with a moan and intake of air was all Dean needed. Removing the two fingers Dean had inside of Cas, the hunter quickly crawled back up to capture Cas lips in his — swallowing the whimper the angel sighed out from the loss. 

 

“One word, Cas.” Dean murmured softly against Cas lips, forehead resting against his. It still wasn’t too late to turn back, and Dean was giving Cas that out. “Now, Dean.” The angel fumbled out  instead, lifting his hips up and placing a pillow under them. Dean couldn’t help the small breathless chuckle that escaped his lips. Softly pressing a few more wet, sloppy kisses to Castiel’s neck before moving back once more. A mix of a grumble and whimper left the man beneath Dean at the lost of skin on skin contact. Dean once more retrieved the lube, using a generous amount on his aching cock before disregarding the tube and moving closer to Cas. Crawling between Cas’ legs, Dean lined himself up with the angel beneath him and arched an eyebrow one last question. “Do it, Dean.” The angel’s flustered with need and so damn deep, sexed and gravely it was all Dean could do not to come right on the spot. Grabbing a hold of Cas hips, Dean slowly penetrated Cas, slowly pushing in not wanting to hurt him. Soft whimpers, gasp and almost sighs of relief escaped the angel all at once causing Dean to stop every few minutes to make sure he was okay, only to get a heated glare for him to keep moving — which Dean obligated. 

 

A groan escaped the hunters lips and mixed with the moan that escaped the angels when Dean bottomed out, fully inside of Cas. pleasurable sighs escaping them both once more at the sensation of Dean completely filling Cas up, Cas being so hot and tight around Dean’s aching cock. Dean had to fight all his urges to move, wanting to give his angel time to adjust to Dean being inside of him for the first time. “Dean..—..moove, please.” The angel whimpered, need and heat and arousal wrapped up in his voice. Blue eyes coming up to lock with green eyes, so many emotions rolling around in both eyes. Dean gave a short nod, before pulling almost all the way out and going back in, slowly, almost painfully slow. Dean kept the pace, slow and steady at first, not wanting to hurt Cas. Quickly, Dean and Cas both found a rhythm together. Cas hips coming up to meet in time with Dean thrust, both setting into the rhythm. Soft moans and groans, coming from both their lips and sinfully mingling together in the middle, between them. Cas hands came up to hold Dean’s sides, open palm, legs wrapped around the hunter's waist. “So hot..so tight.” Dean fumbled out, heat, arousal, need washing over him as a groan escaped his own lips. 

 

Bending down to swallow up the sweet delicious sounds escaping from the angel’s lips, in a wet, heated, sloppy kiss. Dean captured Castiel’s lips with his own, thrusting his tongue into Cas open and waiting mouth — tongues dancing around, fighting for dominance. Resting his forearm on the bed beside the angels withering body, the other running open palm along the angel side and down to his thigh and back again before resting on his hip. Dean could tell by the sharp intakes of air from both of them neither was going to last long. “Dean..Fa—” The word came out as a breathless moan from the man below him unable to finish, head leaning to the side as Dean nippled and suckled along his jawline and neck. “Shh, I got you, babe.” Dean murmured against his neck, causing a shiver to escape his angel. Dean knew they were both close, Cas especially. Continuing to thrust in and out of Cas, Dean picked up the rhythm, going faster this time. Mixtures of howls and moans continued to escape from the angel’s trembling lips, telling Dean that he was hitting his prostate with each thrust. Dean could feel coiling in his lower belly, telling him he was close, orgasam ready to float over in the next hit. But Cas wasn’t quite there and Dean didn’t want to go before him. 

 

The closer the both got, the rhythm started to fall out of rhythm. But neither paid much mind to it, Dean snaked the hand resting on Cas hip between their bodies and palmed Cas’ hard on. A moan escaped the angels lips that quickly drowned out as he reached up capturing Dean’s lips with his, pulling him in as close as he could. Head falling back to the pillows once more, breathing hard and completely strung out. Dean couldn’t help the grin that came to his lips knowing that he was the reason for this. For Cas looking completely strung out, ready to bust, combust. Leaning down, Dean suckled Cas bottom lip for a short moment before moving to his now exposed throat. His fingers swiping over the tip of Cas cock, using the precum for lubrication. Before wrapping his fingers around Cas hard, aching cock and giving it a gentle squeeze before moving his hand up and down. Applying just the right pressure at the right time, flicking his wrist at the upward draw, trying to keep his hand in rhythm with the thrust. It wasn’t long before Cas moans started to mix with small whimpers, ready for release. “Dean..I’..” The angel didn’t manage to finish his words, a moan escaping once more as Dean’s thrust hit his prostate once more. Leaning down, Dean captured his angel’s lips before pulling back. 

 

“Come for me, Cas.” Dean whispered, against his lips. With a mix of a moan and sigh of Dean’s name left the angel’s lips at the words. Cas’ head fell back to the pillows, body arching pulling into Dean’s, hips still meeting his thrust. A look of pure bliss washed over the angels look. Dean saw white soon after that, coming right after Cas. That look of pure bliss and sound of Cas voice moaning his name tumbled him over the edge. Dean continued to pump Cas now softening cock and thrusting into him, both of them riding out their orgasms together. Heaven, it was pure heaven. Was the only way Dean could describe it if asked. Sure, he had had sex lots of time before this. But it was nothing compared to this right here, to being with Cas. Nothing could and never would compare to this moment. And Dean knew it was because this was more than just sex with some stranger. It was Cas, it wasn’t sex, it was so much more. Dean knew it should probably scare him but it didn’t. Maybe it was the orgasm still washing over him, pure bliss. Or maybe it was the blue eyes looking up at green eyes filled with so much love. Whatever it was, Dean knew he never wanted to lose it. 

 

Dean removed his hand from between him and Cas, to rest on the bed beside them. Dean used what little strength and leverage he could find, and gently pulled out of Cas. Apologizing at the small whimper and wince that escaped Cas as he did so, before collapsing down on top of the angel earning him a blissed out chuckle. Cas arms wrapped around Dean, pulling him in close and holding him there. Dean turned his in and pressed a soft warm kiss on the side of Cas neck, before nuzzling it. They stayed like that for a long time, Dean wasn’t even sure how long and he was honestly okay with it. If he could have it his way, they’d never leave this bed. But, they were both starting to get sticky as the come between them started to dry. They needed to shower, except Dean didn’t want to move. They were a entanglement of limbs, intertwined in every way possible, even their fingers had come to intertwine and Dean didn’t want to move — didn’t want to break up the intimacy of the moment. As if reading Dean’s mind Cas gently rolled them over, placing Dean on the bottom and Cas on top of him. Scooting down just a little to where he was face to face with Dean, Cas let a soft warm smile tug at his lips. 

 

“We have to move at some point.” Cas murmured, quietly against Dean’s lips. Dean just shook his head, pressing a soft kiss to Cas’ already red and swollen lips.  “You have bodily functions and will need food.” It was a mumble that Dean almost missed, as Cas kissed back just as gentle. “Fine. But after we shower, we come right back.” Dean sighed, giving in. Knowing that they couldn’t stay in the bed for the rest of their lives. Cas made a valid argument and they did need to shower. Cas soft chuckle vibrated through Dean, making the hunter pull the angel back down for one more gentle stolen kiss before they tried to untangle themselves and make their way to the bathroom. Cas made good on his promise, they both showered together, washing each other off, fondling each other a little too much in the shower, and simply just making out.  Before finally breaking apart long enough to dry each other off and make their way back to their bedroom. Where Dean refused to let either of them get dressed, but dragged Cas back into the bed with little protest and took up their previous position. Naked, entangled, intertwined and wrapped around each other. Not sure where one started and the other began — a whole. Exchanging soft murmurs and soft gentle kisses before sleep took over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to hell for such shitty smut, I apologize. First time. But hey, practice makes perfect. We all gotta start some where. -kanye shrug- i did my best, hopefully I didn't fail y'all to bad. One more chapter to go!


	4. And I'm certain that I’m yours.

**————      ⚓     ————**

 “ Something about you it's like an addiction. Hit me with

          _your best shot honey, I've got no reason to doubt you._

_        'Cause certain things hurt and you're my only virtue,  _

_                 and I'm virtually yours. ” —— And certain that I’m yours. _

  
  


**☆ﾟ. * ･ ｡ﾟ ★**

 

The bed was far too cold for supposedly housing two bodies. Two bodies that had been intertwined, sharing body heat — at least they had been before Dean had drifted off to sleep. All signs of the previous night’s hangover was completely gone, along with all the signs of him getting his ass kicked in his drunk state. He still couldn’t remember exactly why or how he had ended up in a fight, but that wasn’t the problem at hand. The fact everything was healed reminded him that last night's events were not a dream. Dean had a wild imagination, but there was no way he could actually manage to dream something up so real, plus the fact he was sore every also told him he hadn’t been dreaming. So why was the bed cold next to him? Where was the other body that was supposed to nuzzled up beside him, stealing his body heat? A soft grumble escaped the hunters lips as he rolled over to the space Cas had been laying, hoping he just rolled away but came up empty. Finally, the oldest Winchester opened his eyes to glare at the empty space beside him. Stupid angels. Dean grumbled once more in his head, rolling over and moving into a sitting position. The sheets rolling off his chest and pooling around his waist. Rubbing the sleep still lingering in his eyes it took Dean a full five minutes after being awake did the doubt finally creep in. Maybe he had miss read all the signs? Maybe Cas didn’t really want this, them, just wanted the sex. No, Dean couldn't wrap his mind around that. It just wasn’t Cas. Or maybe it was. Holy shit, or maybe even worse. Cas thought he wanted it but now post-morning, he was having second thoughts! No longer driven by hunger and arousal, realized the error of his ways and left. 

 

Doubt quickly turned to panic which quickly turned to fear. Holy shit, the angel left. Even after he said he wouldn’t leave, he did. “Breathe, Winchester.” Dean mumbled to himself, running his hands down his face and through his hair. There was lots of reasons to wake up to an empty bed, it didn’t mean anything bad or end of the world. Unless, maybe the world was ending and Cas was just out saving the day. Now, that was something Dean could wrap his mind around. Denial was better than accepting the truth. And if Dean was good at anything it was denial. There was just a piece of him that couldn’t believe that Cas would just leave, run away with the hunter's heart in hand. Cas wouldn’t. Dean, maybe, because he was a chickenshit. Crap. Cas left in fear Dean was going to bail. Damnit. The angel could've at least given Dean a chance. Asshole. Dean continued to go around in circles in his head about what it all meant. Bouncing from doubt to panic to fear to blaming the angel of being a dick and just leaving. “I need a drink.” Dean mumbled to no one but himself, it might have been mid afternoon but hell it was five o’clock somewhere. Rolling out of bed, Dean slipped on a pair of tight fitting boxers and a pair of sweatpants before navigating his way from his room to the kitchen. 

 

“What the holy hell?” The words fumbled out once the hunter turned the corner into the kitchen, a kitchen filled with all different kinds of breakfast foods. Bacon, pancakes, waffles, eggs, scrambled eggs, toast, hell even biscuits and gravy. Anything that was labeled breakfast was in this room, along with some...pie. At least three different kinds of pie. What the hell? Was about the only train of thought Dean could muster up at the moment, his eyes looking around the kitchen, confused and just honestly confused. “CA—” Dean started to yell in a panic filled voice, the whole holyshit he left me thought, circled in his head. But his words got cut off when another warm body slammed into his chest, when the Winchester spun around to leave the kitchen in search of the angel. As if Cas had felt his panic, Dean was now faced with a whole lot of angel hair, wild crazy just had sex hair. Dean couldn’t help but find a satisfied grin come to his lips at that before looking back down, the angel still rubbing sleep out of his own eyes. Finally blue eyes looking up to meet panic filled green eyes. “You think too loud, Dean.” Cas grumbled, always mister grumpy in the morning and Dean felt his heart speed up a little bit at that. “What the hell?” Cas mumbled, once he moved around Dean to make his way to the coffee pot but stopping mid way once his eyes caught sight of the kitchen. 

 

“I was gone for like two seconds, Dean.” Cas threw an accusing glare over at Dean, as if Dean had somehow magically whipped all this up in that short time frame. Throwing his hands up in surrender and throwing out a shrug. “I had nothing to do with this. I thought it was you.” Dean shot back, raising an eyebrow. Cas narrowed his eyes as if he didn’t fully believe the hunter for a moment, his eyes staring at him as if staring into his soul. The intense glare caused Dean to shift a little uncomfortable, whatever it was the angel was looking for he either found or didn’t find it. “I was going to but figured it was lunch time.” Cas finally spoke up as he lifted the bag that was in his hands. Dean couldn’t help but smile at it, it was one of Dean’s favorite hamburger joints that he had ever went to. “You went all the way to Connecticut to get hamburgers and fries?” Well shit. There went all the excuse he had made up going out the window. Leaving guilt for actually believing that Cas had panicked and left him. Smooth, Winchester. Dean grumbled in his head. Cas threw a shrug out as if it was no big deal, before moving a plate of pancakes to the side to set the bag down. “They are your favorite? Are they not?” Cas spoke up now, shifting nervously. Dean narrowed his eyes a little bit at the angel before folding his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow in questioning, his roaming around the room. “Okay, so you went to get hamburgers. Why’d it take so long?” Dean questioned, humor lacing his voice, eyes trained on Cas. “There was a wait…” Cas mumbled, his eyes looking down at the floor, once more shifting on his feet. Dean couldn’t help the small grin that tugged at his lips, Cas was a horrible liar. Always had been. “Cas?” Dean stated his name as a question, eyebrow still raised. His feet moving him to now stand in front of the angel, looking down at him with a softer look. 

 

“Fine.” Cas gave in with a sigh, finally looking up to meet waiting green eyes. “Sam and Gabe needed some help. Apparently they ran into a case just a little outside of Lawrence. It looked like werewolves, but the timing was all off. By the time they figured out was vampires, it was almost a little too late. So, Sam called out and I had to show up and help. Gabe might be an archangel, but he isn’t trained right. Got knocked out.” Cas spoke shaking his head, scolding at his own brother as his eyes fell to a stack of pancakes. “And you thought I was a bad hunter. At least I never got knocked out.” Cas grumbled, defensively almost when his eyes looked back up at Dean. “But I see you managed to occupy yourself.” Cas arched an eyebrow in question, his eyes roaming around the room. “Wait. What?” Cas words finally soaked their way into Dean’s brain, once he stopped staring and thinking about how adorable Cas was. “Vampires? Are Sam and Gabe okay? Are you okay?” The words poured out at the same time Dean’s arms moved up to take a hold of the angel’s shoulders, twisting him around to make sure he was okay. “Dean. I’m an angel of the lord. Vampires can’t hurt me.” Cas spoke announce mixed with amusement filled his voice as he swatted Dean’s hands away. “You never know.” Dean mumbled in his defiance letting his hands slide up and down Cas arms for a moment before dropping away. “Still doesn’t explain the hamburgers.” Dean finally questioned, as he lifted the back up, eyebrow arched towards Cas. 

 

The angel fumbled around once more, eyes looking down, nervousness settling in once more before giving in with a short sigh. “I felt bad for leaving you last night without any warning. I wouldn’t have went but Sam sent out a panic sos. I had planned on getting back to you before you woke up, but things went a little sideways. So I went to get the hamburgers, then you woke up before I could get back, panicking like crazy. And I just..—..I felt guilty for having to leave you.” Cas explained finishing off in a short mumble as his eyes locked with Dean’s once more giving up a small shrug. “Last night? Wha—…” Dean threw his arms up in the air, giving up as he shook his head. Sam was miles away and still cockblocking. Damn. “Because it was a real emergency and you brought burgers back, I forgive you.” Dean stated as he opened the paper bag on the table to peek down at the contents — mouth starting to water. Hamburgers and fries from his favorite hamburger joint, plus all the breakfast food. “I’m not dead, right? And you’re just too afraid to tell me? Death by mind blowing sex, I mean it could happen.” Dean humored with a soft shrug as he pulled out the hamburgers and fries, setting them on the table. “Glad to know what your heaven would look like.” Cas rolled his eyes fondly, amusement in his voice but stood still. Popping a fry into his mouth, Dean couldn’t help the goofy lopsided smile on his lips as he tossed out a shrug towards the angel. 

 

“Cas, you going to stare all day or you gonna ask what’s on your mind?” Dean rumbled out between the bites of fries he kept taking, eyes locked on a stack of pancakes in front of him before looking up at the angel. Who was fidgeting and shifting his weight nervously, as if wanting to ask a question but almost too afraid to ask it. “I was..—..about last night.” Cas stuttered out, or more of left out some words while trying to stutter the words out. “Mhmm?” Dean rumbled out, arching an eyebrow, mouthful of fries, still unsure of the question at hand. Cas didn’t speak up though, he simply shifted his weight on his feet once more letting blue searching eyes look up at waiting green eyes. Dean wasn’t exactly sure what Cas was searching his eyes for, but he hoped he would find it or at least voice the question he was wanting to know the answer to. Dean could see the hope but fear mix in the angels eyes all tangled up together with a slight hint of panic and nervous. It was then that Dean realized what Cas was trying to figure out, where they stood, what last night meant. “Come ‘re.” Dean murmured reaching out and hooking a finger under the waistband of the sweatpants that Cas was wearing pulling him closer to Dean. Dean’s hand moved to rest on Cas clothed hips for a moment, rubbing soothing circles there before moving up to bracket the angels face, tipping his chin up to where he was now looking up at Dean. Cas hands came up to rest on Dean’s hips, who wasn’t wearing a shirt. Cas thumbs rubbing small soothing circles on Dean’s exposed hip bones, his sweatpants riding dangerously low. 

 

“Cas, are you wearing my sweatpants?” Dean murmured his lips a breath away from Cas, barely touching, teasing. Dean could tell the angel was already highly distracted just by the simple task of Dean invading his personal space more than usual. Also with all the open exposed skin above Dean’s waist, Cas wasn’t paying attention to Dean’s words. Which took the angel a moment to answer, searching for the question that Dean had asked. “Shut up.” Cas stammered, his cheeks going a soft rosy color causing a grin to spread to Dean’s lips. “I was needed, completely naked and had to hurry.” Cas babbled out, neck and cheeks still a rosy color. “Mind you that my powers were also still powered down, still high from the activities just not many hours ago. An—  Dean, wipe that smug grin off your fac —Dean, this is not funn— Dean Winch—” Cas babbled, flustered and grumbly trying to push Dean back as the hunters chuckles rumbled through him, turning into soft laughters. Cutting Cas off before he could get Dean’s full last name out and push him away, Dean pulled Cas chest against chest and capturied Cas’ lips with his own. Cas’ hands moved open palm up Dean’s sides and over his chest to wrap around his neck, pulling himself as close as he could to Dean. One of Dean’s hands moved to the back of Cas head, running his fingers through the already sexed up hair, the other hand moving to grab his hip — holding Cas in place.

 

They stayed like that for a long time, Dean wasn’t even sure how long. Swallowing each others tongues, holding each other as close as they could, stopping long enough to come up for air before diving back in. Food forgotten, the world at whole forgotten. Till a low whistle rang out in the kitchen, pulling the two a part with a surprised yelp coming from Cas. “That’ll be fifty bucks, Samuel.” Gabriel roared out, once his laughter died down at the look of horror and shock on Cas face and the death glare Dean tossed at him over his shoulder. “Told you the two lovebirds would work their issues out AND they made breakfast, holy shit.” Gabriel spoke, voice mixed with amusement and shock at the looks of the kitchen. “We didn’t make it.” Cas and Dean both spoke out in unison, looking at each other before looking back at Gabriel. “I thought you did?”  Cas spoke up finally, scolding his brother for picking up a pancake and eating one. Gabriel threw out a shrug before looking over at Sam who just now walked into the kitchen. Eyes wide a shock at all the food, completely ignoring Dean and Cas before his eyes finally landed on them. “Damnit.” Sam mumbled, fishing out his wallet to pay up to Gabe. Dean rolled his own eyes at it before sending a glare over at them. “I flattered you thought I’d make up a dazzling breakfast for you two, but it wasn’t me.” Gabriel amused, laughter still lingering in the air as he happily accepted the fifty bucks from Sam.

 

“Huh. Ohwell. Now if you two don’t mind, I’m going to get back to making out with my angel boyfriend.” Dean rumbled, turning his attention back to the beautiful angel in front of him. Dean quickly taking up the position he once had on Cas, before smashing their mouths back together. Earning a surprised umf from Cas and a couple of ohmygod and rushed foot steps from Sam and Gabriel, leaving Dean and Cas alone once more. “Dean..” Cas chuckled when the hunter released his mouth to start leaving open mouthed kisses along the angels jawline and neck. Dean let out a humming noise to question Cas, while continuing his assault with his lips and tongue on the angel. “Dean, you need to eat.” The words flowed out in a soft sigh, the angel leaned into the touch as Dean’s hands moved from Cas hips to sneak under his shirt palms open roaming over all the skin the hunter could touch. “You.” At least Cas believed that was the word Dean muffled out while biting and suckling the soft spot behind Cas ear. Another soft chuckle escaped the angel at the overly needy hunter that was in his arms right now, as much as Cas loved it he knew Dean needed to eat. Cas wasn’t human, but Dean was. 

 

Mustering up all the strength Cas could, angel or not, it was hard with the wicked things that his boyfriend was doing to him with his mouth on his neck right now. Cas couldn’t help the flutter he got in his stomach at the word. Dean was his and he was Dean. “Later.” Cas muffled out in a mix of a sigh and a moan. Finally mustering up the courage, Cas placed his hands firmly on Dean’s Chest pushing the hunter away. Grinning at the needy whimper, that he was sure Dean would deny later, that escaped the hunters lips. “You. Eat. I’m going to try and clean this mess up and figure out where we are going to hold all this food.” Cas spoke firmly, keeping at least an arm's length of distance between him and Dean. “Dean.” Cas spoke in that deep gravelly firm angel voice, meaning he was serious. It took everything in Cas to turn down Dean, who was flat out pouting now. Adorable, gorgeous, hunter. That was all his. Cas pointed a finger for Dean to sit down and after a  few more minutes the hunter finally gave up with a short sigh sitting down. 

 

Just like that a comfortable silence fell between the two. Dean eating way too much food that he knew he’d regret later and Cas some how managing to find plastic Tupperware to put everything in. Dean was positive Cas was more or less using his angelic powers, there was no way they had that much Tupperware. Even if they did, Dean still wasn’t sure where the hell they were going to fit it. There was way too much food to actually fit into the refrigerator. “You eat anymore pancakes and you’re going to regret it later.” Cas murmured from behind the small island in the kitchen, looking for more Tupperware. “I can’t help it. They are just so damn good. Heavenly.” Dean stuttered around a mouthful of pancake. He wasn’t lying, they really were heavenly. He wasn’t sure who made them but holy hell they were good. If Dean was being honest, he was sure he had tasted them before but he couldn’t quite put his tongue on it. Shrugging the thought away, Dean went back for two more pancakes. Cas was right, he was going to be miserable later but it was worth it. 

 

“Dean.” Cas voice echoed from behind the island, as the angel stood up. Dean stopped in the process of getting two more pancakes to look up at the angel, as if caught red handed. “Okay, okay. Fine. No more.” Dean grumbled as he pushed the plate back, moving the pancakes as far away from as they could get. Which wasn’t far due to the table still being filled with food. “No, not that. Well, yes that. But also, there’s a note.” Cas spoke, moving from where he stood to stand next to Dean flipping the small card over in his hand before handing it to Dean. “Probably just Steve thanking me for such an amazing night, the other night.” Dean humored taking the card, flipping it over in his hand. He didn’t recognize the handwriting, smooth and elegant but definitely a mans. Dean could feel the death glare on the back of his neck before he even locked up. “Who's jealous now?” Dean grinned brightly, before laughing. Cas death glare amplified, arms crossed over his chest before turning to leave. “Oh, come on, babe. I was just kidding.” Dean rushed out, amusement and humor lacing his voice. Quickly dropping the letter beside him in favor of grabbing the retrieving hips, pulling Cas back to him. 

 

“‘M Sorry.” Dean murmured in a soft voice, looking up at the angel with a soft sincere smile. “Read the letter, Dean.” Cas pointed down at the letter, arms still crossed over his chest. “Dean, read the letter.” Cas spoke in a more softer, gentle tone, his face falling into softer features and moving to pick up the note and handing it back to Dean. Tossing one leg over the side of the bench, now straddling, Dean motioned for Cas to sit down. Once the angel sat down, Dean took the card from his angel’s hand and opened to read it.

  
  
  


Dear Dean, 

 

Congratulations. About damn time you pulled your head out of your ass and 

stopped running from Cas. Instead run to him. My me, I’ve been waiting too 

damn long for you two to get your shit together. I was starting to wonder 

how many times I’d have to bring him back, for you to realize..—..never mind,

it doesn’t matter. Take care of him, protect him, keep him safe. Break his heart 

or hurt him in kind of way and I will send the wrath of heaven down upon you. 

You both deserve this, after everything. Take care, Dean. Be good to Cas.

 

p.s. I’ll flutter in here in a few days to check up on you guys. Be safe till then. 

p.s. You have my full permission for my sons hand in marriage, Dean. 

But I better be invited to the wedding, or once again I’ll send the wrath o

f heaven down upon you.

p.s. Tell Sam and Gabriel I’m happy for them as well. 

                                                                                                                                           Sincerely,

                                                                                                                                                      C.S.

 

Ohshit, I almost forgot. Bobby sends his congratulations. Also said ‘it's about 

damn time, you stupid idjit.’ He also still expects Sam to pay up on that bet. 

Ellen, Jo, Charlie and the gang send their congratulations as well. They also hope to see 

y’all for Christmas, we’ll talk more about that later when I stop in for the visit. 

 

ps. You are way too loud when it comes to your prayers, I enjoy the amusement 

of your half ass conversations towards me, but tone it down son. I got a headache 

the side of Texas now. I don’t know how Castiel stands it, but I guess that’s what 

love does you. I’ll see y’all here in a couple days, at Thanksgiving, save me a plate. 

 

So many emotions swirled around inside the oldest Winchester's head and heart as he read the note, over and over again. Fucking Chuck. Thanks, asshole. Dean mumbled in his head, amusement and humor but also gratitude filled his words. He was sure Chuck picked it all up, after all he was God. And one day his father in-law, holy shit. Dean wasn’t exactly sure where that thought come from. Slow down, tiger. Absentmindedly, Dean found his hand reaching out and taking a hold of Cas hand intertwining their fingers together. The hunter had everything he wanted, well not everything. He still wished like hell that Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Charlie, hell even Ash was still here. But he had Cas, Sam and even Gabriel. Dean really couldn’t argue on that, he was still surrounded by family. Including Chuck. Freaking God. Only a Winchester could say that, say that God, the really actual God, was family.  Dean couldn’t help a snort that left his lips before looking up to meet Castiel’s blue eyes, eyebrow arched in question. But Dean didn’t answer him, instead Dean tugged on their intertwined hands and pulled the angel closer to him. Capturing Cas lips with his own, in a soft deep kiss. Dean wasn’t all that great with words, but he poured everything he had into that kiss, everything in his heart into that kiss — hoping Cas understood. 

 

“Everything okay?” Cas asked softly, once their lips parted and foreheads resting together. Dean still had his eyes closed, taking in the softness of the moment before humming a yes to his angel — diving back in capturing Cas’ lips once more. Wrapping his arms around Cas’ waist and pulling him in as close as he could with the positions they were setting in. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, holding him as close as he could. Dean Winchester never thought this would be his life, actually he never expected to still be alive. He sure as hell never counted on being so in love with the man in front of him, being able to have him, hold him in his arms and have that love be returned times 10. Never thought he’d have a home and his family surrounding him. Even those gone where still with him, Dean knew that. After all, he was holding an angel in his arms and kissing him fiercely. How could he not believe Bobby was up there watching over him. If anything, Cas at least was. Cas always would be.

  
  


**☆ﾟ. * ･ ｡ﾟ ★**

 

“I love you.” The hunter mumbled the words softly into the quiet silence that wrapped around the pair now wrapped around each other. Though Dean had disagreed and didn’t like the idea of the still having clothes between them, he also enjoyed the more intimate setting. So, Cas won the argument. Plus the little asshole couldn’t keep his mouth off Dean’s long enough to get clothes off. So here the two laid in Dean's bed, wrapped around and entangled in every way of the word. Bodies pressed tight together, limbs entangled and wrapped around each other, and Dean wouldn’t change it for the world. “I know.” Came back the soft reply, and Dean couldn’t help the soft chuckle that escaped his lips. Releasing the breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “Dude, did you just han solo me?” Dean grumbled, trying to play off the grumpy side but humor, amusement and affection laced his voice as he tightened his hold around Castiel’s waist — even though there was no way to pull him any closer. Dean could feel the wide grin that spread across Cas’ lips, as the angel pressed another soft open mouth kiss to his neck before pulling back. Dean could feel his heart flutter in his chest just at the site of the angel, sexed up hair, wide gummy smile, bright blue eyes. Dean could see how proud he actually was of his come back but also could see the love back in his eyes. Dean knew Cas had been waiting for ever to use that one comeback but also did it for Dean. To try and dumb down the emotional highly charged atmosphere  that came with his confession. And damn if it didn’t make Dean love the man in his arms even more.

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got me this time. Just you wait.” Dean grumbled meeting Castiel’s chuckle back in return before both diving back in to capture the other's lips, meeting in the middle. Always meeting in the middle. The world might be ending, it always it is and there are still monsters out there that need to be hunted. But right here, right now, Dean didn’t care. His brother was safe, as safe as he could be with Gabriel. Gabriel, was well Gabriel. Dean was wrapped up and intertwined with the love of his life. Both making out with each other like they were in high school. They were all safe and happy, so the world could wait — at least for a couple more days. After all it was Thanksgiving in a few days and they had a big house guest coming over for dinner. “You wanna talk about that letter?” Cas mumbled, his lips moving along Dean’s jawline and back up to his lips for a few more butterfly like kisses before moving back. Blue questioning eyes meeting green amused eyes. “Why? Afraid it’s from a previous lover, Cas? Wanting to reconnect?” The death glare Cas threw up at Dean would’ve been scary and probably shaken him if it wasn’t so damn adorable. Dean couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his lips, holding on tightly as Cas tried to make his escape but failed. Dean knew Cas didn’t really want to go any where, they both knew he could easily zap himself out of Dean’s hold. 

 

“You’re an asshole, I take back every loving you.” Cas grumbled. The hunter was positive if his arms would’ve been trapped and to intwined with Dean’s own he would’ve crossed them over his chest. “I might be an ass, but I’m yours.” Dean replied sheepishly in a mumble, his lips pressed to the underside of Cas jaw. Pressing soft kisses before pulling back, grinning down at the overly adorable pout Cas was giving him. “And you love me, don’t lie. You’re a horrible liar, Cas.” Closing the small space left between them, Dean peppered small kisses on Cas lips, a small smile forming on the angel’s lips. “That’s not true. I once both deceived you and your brother, if you remember correctly.” Cas murmured between the kisses, before giving up on any argument and kissing back. Dean couldn’t help the laughter that rang out from him, causing him to throw his head back at the angel’s argument. “Betrayal, such betrayal” Dean spoke, shaking his head lightly as his laughter died down and came back to rest his forehead against Cas, a soft sigh escaping his lips. “I’m sorry.” Cas mumbled, eyes cast down. Finding one of his hands, Dean brought it up to Cas’ chin, pushing his face up to look at him. Dean could see the sorrow and guilt linger in the angels eyes, from the past event. So much sorrow, regret and guilt. 

 

“ ‘S okay, Cas.” “I love you.” Both men mumbled out words at the same time, breaths tangling together. Cas cheeks turning a soft rosy pink, causing a soft chuckle to escape Dean’s lips before arching an eyebrow in question. “Please, go on.” Dean uttered in a silently whisper, leaning back into capture Cas lips with his one once more, for a long deep kiss before pulling back. “I love you, asshole.” Cas grumbled, trying to sound grumpy. But his voice betrayed him, filled with humor, affection and so much love. Dean was sure his heart was either beating so damn fast he couldn’t feel it or it stopped beating altogether. It wasn’t like he didn’t know, he knew the angel loved him. But still hearing the words, it took his breath away and stopped his heart. A flutter of butterflies rising in the pit of his stomach and working their way to his throat. “Breathe, Dean.” Cas murmured  with a soft chuckle following after. A soft shaky sigh escaped between Dean’s lips, before the hunter closed the small gap between his lips and Cas. Capturing the angels lips in a deep kiss, throwing everything he had in it, throwing everything feeling, every fiber of love into the kiss. HIs hands once more wrapped around Cas waist, pulling the angel as close as he could to him. 

  
Rolling them to press Cas back into the memory foam, Dean’s weight on top of him. Once more a mess of intertwined and tangled up limbs, bodies as close as they could be, no space, no air between them. Breaking the kiss long enough to come up for air, just to once more dive back in and pick up the kiss where it left off. Neither of them was even sure where one ended and the other started. Sure, the world would need saving. But it could wait. For now, Dean was never leaving this bed and he wasn’t going to let Cas leave it either. They had years of time to catch up on, years of such wasted time, and Dean wasn’t joking when he said he wanted to map out every piece of Cas. Learn every curve of his body, learn everything there was to learn about him. What he loved, what he hated, what made him come completely undone. And he was going to start right now. At least till dinner time, then pick up where they left off after. Dean knew what it felt like to hold his angel close and he was never going to let him go. He was never going to let his angel go. Just as Dean was sure Cas was never going to let his hunter go. Dean would tell Cas about the letter later, after all it wasn’t going anywhere. Dean was definitely going to have to send Sam and Gabe a fruit basket with a thank you card later. But later, all that could come later. They were done wasting time. Dean didn’t care what the world threw at him — with Cas by his side, nothing else mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we have reached the end! This is seriously such trash, honestly.  
> BUT Thank you for reading my trash. I truly appreciate it!  
> I hope y'all enjoyed it! If you wanna send in prompts, I'm more then happy for it!  
> Just check out [my tumblr](http://foreverdestielxx.tumblr.com/), send one over! c:  
> Until next time, my lovely butterflies. Be kind to all and take care of one another! ^_^


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